A day of rest...................Amsterdam pt 3

No cricket today, so another normal day for Jacko & Deno, but a great chance to unwind & relax for the rest of us, which of course we spurned. The only plan, was to meet Rich at 4pm to go for a tour round Amsterdam in his boat, have a few quiet beers, and mix with the locals. How best to prepare for this kind & generous offer made by our host ?  I know, lets consume lots of  beer..........then buy another 300 euros of beer to take on the boat, just to make sure we all thoroughly relax-target achieved, although actually Templedoom seemed a bit edgy getting on the boat for some strange reason.

You can clearly see Dave here in the "brace" position, as if he is expecting something to happen........

Now Dave reckons he's unlucky, but today the God of Ginger Hair was smiling down on him, as he was odds on to be first into the canal as we set off, but events took a strange twist,when an uninvited guest boarded our boat. This guy was holding his own until he mentioned the "W" word. A quick verification followed, that his home town was indeed Cardiff, and he somehow found his way into the Prinsengracht canal; the shock of cold water forced his mouth wide open in timely fashion, allowing a deluge of dirty fluid down the throat, and it didn't cost him a guilder.
We left the boat on a high, but one of our party, who can't be named for legal reasons,

Openbare Dronkenschap

felt we needed a spot more entertainment. His half hearted attempt to pinch a bike, followed by an exchange of views with a Dutch motorcycle policewoman, resulted in an emphatic victory for the police, and the rest of the touring party were suitably amused. He was last seen being driven off by these two,

 for a good seeing to in the cells. Having promised him we would get his passport and pay his fine asap, we retired to the nearest bar to reconsider his fate.

A few hours later, Openbare Dronkenschap was back with his friends and just 150 euros poorer for the experience. Not content with his days work, he then smashed a glass on the floor, took his flip flops off, stood on the glass, and cut his foot

Dick Heads foot

We ended the day at kitschy Cafe Nol, a hang out for the coolest people in Amsterdam, so naturally Openbare Dronkenschap wasn't invited. We departed in the early hours with our P2 W2 record intact.

Amsterdam part 2

With a win under our belt, and something else under Sammy's belt, we looked forward to visiting "the prettiest ground in Holland" at Bloemendaal. We were told to be on our best behaviour because Harrow School were playing a serious game against the Dutch Lions at the same time. Sure enough, we were impressed with the pretty ground and posh pavilion,

but then sadly were told to bugger off to a nearby cowfield and leave it to the pros. Harrow schoolboys looked quite mature for their years, and had coincedentally, all been on holiday to India recently, but we left them to their fate against a highly tuned Dutch team. Once the cows had been evicted, our ground actually looked OK, and the hosts were friendly, but confusion reigned when we discovered half the team were called Bart.
A quaint "John Harrison" scoreboard & a small garden shed were the extent of the facilities. The introduction of the Moreton megaphone livened things up a little, and some of the initial friendliness seemed to evaporate

Moreton batted first. Jonny "thanks for turning up" Yaxley looked in fine fettle after 27 hours sleep (so he should), and he opened with Co-Tour Manager Nic "thanks for turning the right way" Cross.

Sedate progress, with Rob getting a second duck, runs from Will (top score= proud parents), Fletch & Kaz did well too, but we meandered to a total of 130 off 30 overs, which quite frankly did not look enough. Return to posh pavilion for tea- well actually a plum tomato to share, and watch Harrow underperforming; it transpires that this is a Harrow Tandori 2nd XI and not the famous school team, which explains their apparent incomptetance. Moreton bowl well, with Fletch rising to the top with 4 wickets, and Rob "snaffling" 3 behind the stumps. Lots of useful contributions all round, mean Bart's team fall just short with 121. Played 2 won 2 is sweet.

A great curry followed- wonder why they chose that ? Anyway, it went down a treat, as did the chilli fines afterwards. Thanks to BCC for hosting another entertaining day.

Can you spot (1) the gay umpire, and (2) Sammy's travelling condom bag?

Amsterdam Tour Report 2012 part 1

"Meet at The Beat at midnight" were the extensive tour "joining instructions". A 3 hour wait for the coach was filled with a game of poker. Luckily the coach arrived before anybody had won, so our kitty was off and running. First fine incurred by Kaz for being 3 hours late; 10 Euros per hour = 40 Euros if you don't have the correct money. Fly, train and walk to our "hotel". Our warm up routine includes a ketchup fight outside the hotel, follwed by a warm down in the Glasshopper pub, before taking train to Amsterdam CC. Jonny & Templedoom opt out, because they are tired, or maybe they know something we don't-anyway it's another fine of course, and the revenue streams for the kitty are coming along nicely. Nic had already purchased the I Spy book of Dutch cricket clubs, and this seemed too good an opportunity to let pass. We found VRA, VVCC, XYZ CC and I'm sure we even caught a glimpse of Lords at one point. Our hosts kindly rounded us all up, took us to the correct club, and the 15 over game started about an hour late. Having been up for 36 hours, of which 24 were spent drinking, expectation was pitched at a reasonably low level. Tim & Percy van Persie opened, but PvP was soon exposed for lack of fitness, and run out. Will & Rob managed Ducks, once again disappointing their respective parents, and it was left to Tim (33*) & Fletch(27*) whose parents are both very proud, to restore some order, and we finished on 109. Deno took to umpiring, like a duck to the fast lane of the M4, and our bowlers were always in control, except Will "wide boy" Macdonald, who was unable to raise his game to the high levels Bryan, and his parents, expect. Sammy took 3 wickets, and Bryan and Kaz both took 2,with special mention to Tebsy for his good spell-for an amateur. The Landlord managed to spill his beer & faceplant the turf, in a vain attempt to catch Marvin; but at least it woke Jacko up ! Amsterdam fell short with just 91 scored in their 15 overs. To be quite honest, they will never have a better chance to beat us, and this has to go down as a "shocker" for them.

We are now back in Amsterdam, entering the red light district, and I must ask Paul & Sheila Smith to kindly log off, and rejoin us in the morning. Sammy starts with a recce to evaluate the merchandise, which seemed a reasonable idea, but after 3 circuits, the observers were getting restless, and tell him to stop looking for Anne Frank. Finally the boy makes his decision- (Sheila I told you to turn off your computer) and selects Juliet to receive his offering. " How much art thou Juliet ?" This time, in his excitement, he pays the full amount requested, but his error is rectified for later transactions. Juliet turns out too be a bit of a sweety, and gives Sammy a loyalty card for future visits, and promises to write to his parents to congratulate them.  The longest day ends with more drinking & revelry, before retiring to our luxury hotel suites for what was left of the night.