Moreton Beer & Cricket Festival 2010

Our 3rd year & "the best yet" according to most of you. The weather was kind, the music superb, the cricket was wonderfully entertaining & the beer & cider flowed.













I thought The Homestead commentary box worked particularly well, so thanks to all of you who did a stint in there; I can only think of one person who disagrees with this sentiment., hopefully he'll do a stint in the box next year ? What do you reckon Tony ?

A big thank you to those that worked so hard to put this event on- there are a few too many of you to mention, without it sounding like an Oscar's acceptance speech, but you know who you are & thank you !

A short, light hearted, review of the cricket follows below- I must confess I didn't see that much of Thursday or Fridays games, and I know Jonny will write something about our emphatic win over Cuxham, but if anyone fancies penning a few words about Thursday's high scoring game v Warborough boys, I would be delighted.

SATURDAY 31st JULY 6 a side competition.

After Wimbledon Wizards pulled out & Nigel "tough guy" Hessey threw Sutton Courtenay out for failing to answer his emails, we had 2 new teams this year; Warborough Wizards (how convenient) & "The Tourists" a second team from Amsterdam. Seeding ensured last year's finalists, The Grizzly Bears & Amsterdam were kept apart in the early stages, and early form suggested these 2 would again be involved at the k/o stage. Blewbury, smarting from their poor showing last year sent a strong team over, & The Wizards, despite losing to The Bear in a tight group game also went through. Very entertaining semi finals saw Blewbury leave early thanks to the young Wizards heroics & The Bear avenged their loss to Amsterdam in last year's final with a convincing win. So youth v experience in the final; The Bear's team looked good on paper, but 3 days of drinking might be catching up with them ? The Wizards had been on Lucozade all day, and no doubt had been sent to bed at a sensible time the night before, so a close game was expected. To be honest I wasn't expecting to play in the final, so had done a bit of quality control in the beer tent, only to hear that Kaz was injured/ feeling his age. The Wizards batted well, without ever "getting away", and The Bears knocked off the runs relatively comfortably. Getting my hands back on the trophy was fantastic, and all the plaudits must go to our team, assembled at great expense at the IPL auction:-

Rowan Macgregor (Skip)

Sam Fletcher

Kaz Miles

Richard West

Rob Macgregor (Keep)

Jonny Yaxley

Sam Smith

& The Landlord

SUNDAY 1st AUGUST - T20 Triangular Comp

Moreton were joined by our old friends from Amsterdam, and our even older acquaintances from Brightwell-cum-Sotwell. One of the many highlights of this year's festival was Moreton retaining The Anniversary Cup, purchased by BcS, at great expense, won last year by our "2nd XI", and now engraved exclusively with the 7 letters "Moreton". Anticipating victory this year, BcS apparently had a whip round to pay for engraving their village name on their cup, but fell short of the sum required for all 21 characters, and as "right well cum" didn't seem appropriate, they bowed down graciously. To lose off the 6th ball of the 20th over is always going to be hard to take, and we are grateful to "Moany Wincer " for pointing out to his team that they had had a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon, and really shouldn't fret too much over the result. Earlier we had seen Amsterdam beat BcS, who unfortunately ended the day played 2 lost 2. Perhaps the best of all was Moreton v Amsterdam, ending unbelievably in a tie (126 each) with Dive Templedoom the unlikely bowling hero.

Looking forward to next year !

Hero to Zero

As Blewbury is one of our favourite games, it was an unexpected bonus when they turned up on Thursday instead of FCC; even more surprising, as it was a home game for us, since they are normally unable to "travel" on a Thursday !

Bomber's exploits on Sunday have been well documented, so the team was bullish with him batting at 4. No "long fellow" to open, so Tim & Nige did the honours, with a lucky escape for yours truly, dropped off the first ball; actually even luckier for Templedoom, 'cos he would have had my bat wrapped 'round his head if it had stuck. Nige played aggressively & so did Charlie, and a big innings from Bomber was expected. Bomber's Thursday form is of course piss poor, as we all know, so it shouldn't have been any surprise that he let his mates down again, getting a quick duck, so he could rush back to his beer and continue boring everyone in the pavilion with the tale of how he got his 50 on Sunday. He now plans to "stay at home" waiting for the call from either Hollywood directors, England selectors, or The Benefits Office. Sammy clocked up his 10th Duck of the season with a sweet clip off his legs, straight to a fielder. Swagger had another good knock for 21 & Stuart (17*)& Wicksy(25*) finished with a flurry to bring us up to a respectable 157. This would almost certainly be enough if we were playing FCC as scheduled, but against Blewbury, it might be a tight call ?

Joe & Felch bowled well & both picked up a wicket, with Felch being particularly economical. Jonny also had a good spell, and picked up 3 for 20 off his 4 overs. Unfortunately Wicksy & Smithy leaked runs badly, with special mention for Wicksy who bowled absolute tripe, getting 3 undeserved wickets, with gift wrapped dross ! Bomber plucked a great catch on the boundary, briefly reclaiming "hero" status, before reverting to type 2 minutes later with a buffoon like misfield. Blewbury boys finished the run chase off in the last over, and it was back to The Bear and more "tales of the unexpected" from Bomber.

Here's a photo of Bomber's 50 for you to enjoy at your leisure

Back to reality

After the heady days of Bordeaux, it was back to earth with Wally Squash Club & a gale force wind. My typing finger has done a fair bit of overtime recently, so this report may not be as extensive as usual; of course if we had won it might well have been different !

WSC batted first and Al & Westy bowled really well to keep a tight rein on the run rate, and at 4-26, we were firmly in control; Al took 3-17 off his 4 overs. At this point, the squash players phoned for help, and biked over a cricketer from Stoke Row, whose arrival coincided with a bout of generosity from Thompy & Wicksy, who both leaked runs faster than the dams of the Ruhr Valley. Smithy had the satisfaction of getting JayJamJani out, but our self appointed fielding coach, Bomber, didn't help our cause by missing a few in the slips, and was eventually banished to the deep, but unfortunately WSC had now got a defendable target of 126.

In very dark conditions, we struggled to find fluency in our batting; Ed (21) & Westy (24) both batted well, Al (16*) performed beyond his years, and a late flurry from Thompy (17) nearly threatened an unlikely win, but the squash club bowlers were pretty accurate with the big red ball, and we fell short by 11 runs.

Crazy Frog bottles it !

Friday

Probably the highlight of the week, was the game at Chateau Giscours, a troisieme Margaux, producing really good claret. The cricket pitch is in the grounds of the chateau, and we preceded the game with an informative & enjoyable tour. Giscours are French champions & rather fancy themselves- they even have a few French players in their team as Jacques-oh discovered when he referred to the French polo team, who used to train there, as " a load of Frenchmen poncing around on horses" !

Batting first on the strangest of wickets- concrete with coconut matting- a few struggled with the variable bounce, and Rowan took a stinker under the ribs from some Yarpie, before he got off the mark. He went on to top score with 62, which just goes to show you should never annoy an Aussie, especially one with a British passport ! Our score of 136 looked about par, but should have been higher, except a certain person refused to get himself on strike, because he was scared of getting the duck hat. This selfish behaviour deserves to be exposed to the wider world, so, having taken legal advice, I am posting a photo of him now- quick mention for Swagger for a top spot !

Well batted too Sammy Smith- in difficult circumstances he kept calm and played some lovely shots.

Bowling plaudits shared around really, but nice to see Nick Cross in the thick of it at the end, and a special mention for Volvo, who took a decent catch to get rid of Matthew Pincents cousin. Moreton win by 33.

So it's "Jouer trois- gagnez trois" or something like that ! Unbeaten on tour again- unbelievable. A great week- thanks for all the laughs chaps- and a massive thank you to Nick & Jonny for sorting it all out. Special mention too for Ed "Espagnol" Squires and Didier for the superb day they arranged for us on Monday. One final memory is a 2 year old girl taking the piss out of Dive at the airport- some people are born for it ! Bomber we need you next year !

A bientot

Damazan in distress

Thursday

Unbelievably we have another game of cricket scheduled for today- I make that 2 in 4 days- who organised this schedule, they must be mad ? Luckily I'm down for a rest today, so a stop at the supermarket is required as we try to recreate the Bear at Home bar in Damazan- possibly the most picturesque ground in the South West- or maybe not.

Apparently it's a "bastide" town, well it's certainly a right " bastide" to get too. First impressions were good, although they have the same water melon sales shacks as St Aulaye & the toilet/shower block confuses several of our players who can't decide which is which. If you really want to know about the cricket, there's a Damazan report, written by a guy who was paying attention http://www.damazancricket.com/2010-match-reports. They were pretty impressed with our team, particularly a young chappie they called "Hessic" who "scored a hard hit 51", his first runs on tour since decimalisation. I believe they are looking to sign an "enforcer" for their youth team, and Nige could be their man. Personally I was more impressed with Le Deno who hit a boundary to register a PB of 6 & Jacques Oh, who didn't hit anything and trudged off with the Duck Hat firmly on his head. This was a real low point for him, and he suddenly looked older than Messey & Gibbsey combined. Cue The Temple of Doom, who 2 minutes later met the same fate, and Jacques Oh was up and charging on to the field like a puppy, maybe quite a fat puppy, but nevertheless a dramatic transformation. Dave hardly made it off the square before having the Chapeau de Canard rammed onto his ginger nest. The only other moment of note that I saw was Damazan's founder, Jean Claude, walking in to bat, with the job of saving the match for them; apparently he had driven for nearly 3 hours to get here, promptly got a duck (a fine catch by Felcher, considering he was sucking on a straw at the time) and faced another 3 hour drive home. So we returned to Bordeaux in high spirits with an unbeaten record, and prospects of another night out on the town. One slightly disturbing moment was Twixie letting his hair down, literally, on the bus, and he did deservedly receive a yellow card for this; not as bad as Messey's red card incident on Monday, but still pretty disgusting.

PS can someone send me "Messey the movie" for online publication ?

Percy's favourite Codpiece

Ed's big contribution to the tour ended today, and Ed is such a great guy that several younger tourists expressed an interest in joining the Squires family. Not sure quite how I'm going to get a balanced book on this, but here are the current odds:-



The Ed Squire's son in law to be challenge stakes

(for ungelded colts with small brains )

Betting is win only, or in Ed's case lose only



2/1 Le garcon Schmidt

3/1 Any McDonald brother (3 runners)

4/1 Any Bugalugs from Smith's Cottage ( 3 runners from this stable too)

10/1 unnamed Didcot Chav

100/1 Dive Simpleman



Wednesday



Today has been set aside for eating & drinking, as it's quite important to get the right balance of high octane sport, mixed with rest & relaxation; there had been some mutterings that we had overdone the cricket a bit, so this was a chance to balance the books. Booked in to La Tupina, which everyone looked forward to except Percy, who prefers a nut roast to a rare steak. But first some culture for a select group of tourists, who were seen taking brass rubbings in the cathedral, follwed by a trip on the toy train. Rest of us sparked up with an armagnac, before heading to the restaurant. This is one of France's top restaurants, and The Herald Tribune described it as 2nd best in the world ! Having enjoyed delicacies such as 8hour shoulder of Lamb & Carpaccio of Duck, I think the experience was best summed up by Rowan, who came out with "YUM ! " Even Percy was happy, as his Codpiece was apparently very succulent, in fact so good that he has posted a picture of it below.










A trip to Bar a vin was rewarded with some fine wines at subsidised prices-it was fortunate that Ed had kindly left his tab open, and the day rounded off nicely with Germany ausganging out of the World Cup. Finally more culture on the way home with another chapter of Bleak House in Chas Dicken's hostelry. The two "big O's" Deno & Jacko insist on an early night as they have had the nod from Monsieur X that they will be in the starting XI tomorrow.

Bugalugs !!

OK so firstly who or what is Bugalugs ? Found a definition as follows:-

An Australian term of endearment, similar to "Mate" but usually used in a slightly more patronising tone and with less immediate masculine connotations. A good example is a parent describing a son or daughter, or an older person describing a young person. The term is usually used playfully.

So the more astute will now know who Bugalugs is, and the "Ou est theme" continues with Bugalugs being the latest boy overboard. At least Dive the "fountain of no knowledge " is present, if not correct, at breakfast. The difference this time is that one person does care about the missing person, and Rowan had been heard shouting "Boysie" all through the night in a vain attempt to get Robert back from the red light district. He had been about to reach for his strides, when the errant boy returned, and we left them to a small family discussion, extracts of which included .....
"honestly mite..............grounded....................worried sick................5 euros etc etc"
We travelled to St Aulaye, stimulated by the team news being released by Kazpello 2 hours before the game; no great surprises, and of course Bugalugs was dropped on Dad's instructions. We eventually spotted the roadside watermelon sales hut that doubles as their pavilion, and jumped enthusiastically off the bus. When Wynford had dreamt of setting up a cricket club near Bordeaux, it was the thought of getting a load of gobby Englishmen, plus Rowan, wearing lemon polo shirts, blaring Ole Ole Ole across the outfield, that kept him going in his long search for a watermelon shack. Batting first, TOP had a bad start, with Ed getting a duck; it got worse when we realised nobody had brought the step ladders, so the tricky logistical problem of getting the hat on his head had to be overcome, before the game could continue. Rowan was taken out by a U-boat ball, but Felcher & Grincement led the recovery, with Pompier showing off in front of Blue Watch, to push us past 200. The Ole boys kept us going in the field, and heroic efforts from our bowlers kept us in the game, with victory being achieved in the final over by 7 runs; this handily increased the significance of my own 8 run contribution to the game.
Jonny kindly made arrangements for us to see the Holland game, in a conveniently situated bar, just 2 blocks away. The rest of the evening followed a familiar pattern, I think, and we finished as usual with a cultural trip to Charles Dickens Bar.

Ou est Dave ?

sunday- arrive in Bordeaux, check into our rooms, which were clean, but hardly spacious; in fact if Nigel had brought his cat with him, he would not have been able to swing it, and already some members of the tour party were plotting how to avoid spending the night there. Tour blogging is usually easy- you just watch Bomber, and the rest takes care of itself. This year looked tougher, with plenty of candidates trying to provide material. We kicked off with a waterfight led by able fireman Westy, and there were some concerns that Dave might be a bit pissed. Luckily he had taken a photo of our hotel tram stop, so we were reassured that he wouldn't have a problem getting home........................


monday- no sign of Dave at breakfast, and the first divisions of the tour party were exposed. The "yes worries" group, clearly concerned for Dave, started phoning round hospitals, whilst the "no worries" faction carried on regardless, occasionally stopping to berate him for being so selfish. A trip to the beautiful St Emilion and a rake of Armagnacs calmed everyone, until the news we had all dreaded came through.........................Dave had been found alive. Stories were circulating of Dave swimming the Gironde and being rescued by a police helicopter, before being rushed to hospital- so Dave does have a fertile imagination after all.

Police sources later confirmed that a ginger haired twat was found trying to nick a euro out of a fountain, and was too drunk to climb out. Several passers by had been deterred from rescuing him when they saw an alarming, brightly coloured zit on his head, but as the city water supply was now at risk from the poison, police had no choice but to step in, and pull him out. A very angry police spokesman said Bordeaux police were very pissed off with Monsieur Dive Simpleman, as they now had wet socks, and they would be sending him a large bill.

Dive met us at a vineyard later with hospital instructions in French, which fortunately Ed was able to translate, " do not let the patient dry out too quickly"- thus Dive's health was made a priority for the rest of the day. Percy declared this " the besht day ever, ever in thirty four years of touring". Jaques Oh was overjoyed at the copious amounts of duck made available to us, saying it was his second best day on tour ever. Returning to the city, we made an unsceduled stop for a senior tourist, and he repeated the feat at what is now known as "techno corner" by turning himself inside out in spectacular style. Percy thought local planners might reject his choice of hues for the pavement grout, but we were reassured that they would tone down eventually . I'm pretty sure the next 24 hours will be uneventful- check back later to see if I'm right.

Aston hammered again...............

Thanks to Volvo & Swagger for giving me a break from the blog, but my fans have now demanded I return.

But first a Tappin Cup postscript.................Georgia has just got a new pet, and she tells me she wants to call her rabbit Lockey. As I wasn't at the TC, I'm not sure of the significance of this news, but I can tell you, Georgia hasn't stopped laughing for a week- what's this all about eh ?

Anyway back to BrummyWindBag & The Dudlaay Boys. I must say BWB looked a little deflated when I saw him; perhaps he was remembering the heavy defeat his DB's suffered here last time, or maybe he just took the wrong exit off spaghetti junction. Whatever the reason, it was certainly easier on the ear this time, and he's now officially downgraded to just BB. No "our Graham" this time either for Thompy to torture; his replacement being Bryn Rhys Huw-Jones, from I'm not quite sure where ?

Moreton selection news centred around Volvo choosing to attend a gay picnic by the river rather than help his "Midweek" mates win a game of cricket. In a risky move, Volvo sent his younger bro Lachlan to take his place, and he immediately slotted into the team, with the added bonus that he actually brushes his hair.

Unfathomably, Bomber appointed himself "fielding coach", demonstrating to Sammy and others, how to get your "hot pie cabinet" behind the ball and prevent a boundary. More Tee Hee Hee than MCC, but thanks for your input Bomber !

With Al & Swagger bowling well, but without luck, Skip decided to bring on Wicksy for some of his new medium pace cutters. Wicksy though, had other ideas, insisting that it was December already, and reverted to his generous spin drivel. Whatever he may tell his grandchildren, he just got lucky when their number 3 smashed one with a pretty ribbon it, straight to "Sorry" on the boundary. In another inspired change, Jonny chucked Thompy the ball, and once he had picked it back up off the floor, he struck gold with his first delivery. Smithy repeated the trick, and Fletch helped their tail increase their bowel movements with some lively pace at the end.

Target 151- gettable, but no "walk in the park"

As usual "the tall ones" got us off to a flier with 30 on the board after just 2 overs. Next in Lachlan, who whilst his bro was nibbling at cucumber sandwiches, decided he should uphold family honour by blasting 28 in double quick time, before retiring. Meanwhile Ed continued the retirement party theme with a majestic 25, and even Bomber weighed in with an unbeaten 33. We were now in danger of running out of carriage clocks, so Smithy & Fletch decided to "push it" for an early finish; victory, a "walk in the park", was sealed by 9 wickets with 3 overs to spare. A superb batting performance to mask the slightly "iffy" efforts in the field- Bomber will be offering more fielding tips if anyone cares to listen.....................................no thought not.

Next Week, Daisy Duck goes to Bordeaux- Bon Chance to all !

We'll be back at The Croft on Thurs 15th July v Wally Squash Club

England beat Australia again.............

Victories against Australia is always sweet, and the rugby on Saturday morning, and now 2 one day cricket matches this week, mean it's been a great sporting week. Italy crash out of the world cup, England stay in, Wimbledon sees the longest, and most boring, game ever, but the big sports news of the week is still THE TAPPIN CUP. Captain Swagger will post his report here soon- bet you can't wait to read all about it ?

Is it "over & out " for CB ?

Guest Blogger Rob still wants to write, so why not I say ? Anyway A great victory for Moreton off the last ball against Mill St.

Moreton v Southfield

Great News for those of you bored with my blogs- I have a guest blogger for you this week. It's none other than Rob "Volvo" Macgregor of Smith's Cottage & Newcastle Uni. As he's reading English, whilst supporting Australia, it should be interesting........over to you Rob

Team Moreton crush Aston

Firstly this weeks photo was sent in by a Crime watch viewer who was traumatised by seeing this man. Police are still looking for him, but suspect he may have disguised himself by adding some "features" to his featureless face. If you see anyone looking like this, please don't be afraid, contrary to his appearance, he's fairly harmless, and usually misses


Right- on with the cricket..................................

Aston is a neighbouring village; it's also a place near Bampton, who we were scheduled to play, but last night Aston, a suburb of Bermingggum, turned up here by mistake. We politely accepted the challenge, and batted first in glorious sunshine, albeit on an unrolled wicket thanks to mechanical problems with the club roller. Ed (28) & Tim(19) got us off to a flier with 50 on the board in 5 overs, and Bomber(26*) continued the good work with a mixture of 6's & "play and misses" that infuriated their Capt Brummy Wind Bag so much that he nearly stopped gobbing off, much to our amusement. Robbo smacked another quickfire 28 and Jonny chipped in with a few for a change, including a glorious straight 6. A formidable total was on the cards. Sam retained the yellow jersey, I mean yellow hat, as duck race leader with yet another -is that 6?.Thompy came on for the last over, and BWB remembered "our Graham" the forgotten bowler of the team. By the end of the over he was wishing his memory had failed him completely as Thompy thumped 28 off "our kid" in just 6 balls. A lorra lorra runs in a short innings ! A target of 164 was set, and BWB was heard rallying his team in the dressing room. " Don't worray Dudlaaay lads, woil hit it owt the park easay- oi right mayt"

Al & Jonny opened the bowling and Al bowled particularly well, picking up 2 wickets. Jonny was wicketless, but claimed 2 catches. Thompy & Wicksy chipped in with wickets too, and once they were 4 down, the game was over for the visitors, and a visit to a Swiss clinic was in order. They failed to take the many hints about beer, so it was left to Westy to blitz them out with a 4 wicket haul. Great fielding, particularly from Bahamas Bomber, who must be on speed, & tidy keeping from Robbo behind the stumps- no dropped catches methinks ?

Jonny's post match summary..................

"I really enjoyed messing around with the kids at Blewbury last week, but playing with the big boys is even better "

Next week Southfield Superstars.............

Jonny is the pied piper....

What better place to spend a balmy summer's evening than Blewbury Rec ? On second thoughts don't answer that, we only have 5GB spare capacity on this site.

Their pavilion is surely unique, and houses the largest collection of rare mould and uncatalogued fungus in Western Europe. Clubs from far & wide marvel at this tiny piece of "downtown Kabul" that persists in attractive rural south oxfordshire. Even the neighbouring pigs on the downs enjoy better accommodation ? Perhaps it's all elaborate cover for a magic mushroom farm- who knows ? Anyway, I'm told the parish council have matters in hand, and soon the tennis club will have a new shiny club house. Will this be the end of the Splastic Wicket ?

Back to the cricket, and Blewbury under Capt Piglet, sportingly entered the spirit of the game when they saw half our team had been enticed to the game by Jonny offering them sweeties; Grandpa Hessey being the notable exception.

Jack & Harry were on debut for Moreton, in fact they were playing their first ever game of cricket. Al may be small, but he's a genuine cricket talent in the making, and Dan brought much needed energy & enthusiasm to the match. Scarcely much older is Joe, soon to defect to Toot Baldon, and he opened with Al, and in an awesome spell of 8 overs restricted Blewbury to 32-3. Their big guns got them out of trouble, but full credit to our youngsters for stepping up to the mark, with Joe being top bowling dog with 3-9. Jack chased well in the field, and Harry took the fielding plaudits with a great catch, somewhere near Aston Tirrold, happily waving his "hurty hand" around in celebration.

120 was the target, and skip sent in Tim with Harry, but Harry forgot all he was taught and missed a straight one. Ducky T was quick to pass Daisy the Duck hat on to him, and Jack arrived at the wicket next, and kindly received plenty of coaching from Blewbury's finest. His 3 runs on debut surpassed many other more experienced Moreton players, and once "supercoach" Rowan returns from his wanderings, he'll have plenty of raw material to work on. Ed hit one particulary good 6 in his innings & mention too for Spuz who hit a PB 18 to ensure a respectable 90 for Jonny's youth XI. Once again thanks to Blewbury for entering the spirit of the game- how about a match here next year on real grass -you can even bring your own mushrooms ?

Daisy falls for Sammy

Daisy woke with a jolt, the familiar sound of cricketers jeering brought her to full consciousness immediately. Something was different this time; none of her usual home comforts here, just a dirty smelly hovel in the middle of who knows where. Same job, new location; she knew what she had to do, and it was usually 3 or 4 times a night, she had no choice, Jonny made sure of that

" Bastard" .

Daisy closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable approach- would it be the big photographer, the even bigger f**ker who tried to pull her leg off, Jonny the pimp, or perhaps the kind old gent from Cholsey. Daisy wasn't good on names, apart from her pimp of course, and she had no intention of getting on first name terms with this lot- it was just a job. She smelt him first, the familiar cheap aftershave of youth, then it was his fumbling touch on her tender thighs. He was so inexperienced, but at least he was gentle as he gripped her skinny legs and eased them apart. As he entered her, Daisy whimpered with pleasure, and opened her eyes to check what she already knew; Sammy was back, and that pleased her more than she wanted to admit. She remembered, with pleasure, the long hours already clocked up with young Sammy this season; there was so much to teach him, starting with not calling out other girls' names at just the wrong moment. "Who are Peyton, Megan & Jules anyway ?"

Daisy's pleasure was rudely interrupted by Pimp Jonny demanding her for himself; she hated him, all that sweaty hair gave her a rash. Mercifully he was quick, and a new face approached. "go on Nick, it's your go " they encouraged. Daisy shut her eyes again and pretended it was Sammy, but she knew it wouldn't be the same. Just as she thought her work was done, another youth demanded some action, and Davey T made it another fourtimer for Daisy. "When will they learn how to bat ?" she mused

Sorry- got a bit carried away there. here's the match report.............

We batted first, but didn't get enough, they batted second and did.

Captain Beaky's last hurrah ?

A typical Thursday night team sheet, with a wide range of ages & ability, and not a South African in sight. These blended perfectly to give us an all inclusive team performance against Capt Beaky & The Mill St Wanderers.


CB arrived full of it, as usual, and Moreton took to the field for some respite, only for him to follow us out there !
Jonny bowled well without success, and the breakthrough was finally achieved by Sam deftly deflecting a drive onto the stumps with his foot to run out the non-striker; the apology quickly followed. Al, on debut, bowled magnificently, and fully deserved figures of 4 overs 1-11. Dave & Thompy also bowled well to pick up 2 wickets each, and although the fielding was a bit ropey to start with, Thompy's drop was nearly forgotten, when he clung on to a much sharper chance later. Dene "where have my sunglasses gone ? " Taylor, a late sub for Carl "where has my hair gone ? " Jacobs fielded with great credit in the deep, and he'll be another asset in Bordeaux !

Ed & Tim opened, under the watchful eye of "The Swyncombe Scout" , and were soon smashing it all round the ground; after 3 overs The Landlord retired undefeated on 27 with everything under control. Nige avoided the Duck Hat, but Sam got out to a CB yorker, and Jonny grabbed the Duck hat with both hands by firing one straight into a gut bucket in the covers. CB & TMSW now had a sniff, but Bomber, back from "washing his hair" last week, had other ideas, and was soon in the thick of it. He successfully "de-wobbled" the innings with a mature 26*, joined by Thompy who smashed a quick 17 to send CB home, in silence, contemplating his uncertain future.
Next week it's Cuxham away & a few questions to be answered please ..............
Will Wicksey, who has apparently been busy spanking young boys at table tennis, be available ?
Will Westy be "off duty" & "up for it" ?
Will Simon find his way out of the "pink palace" in time ?
Will T.S.S. be watching from the bushes ?

Moreton GAIN !

Election Day saw the return of Herman Miles & the Deutscherabble from Miele. To be fair this wasn't their usual elite corps of players, and we even had to fill a vacuum in their team with our own players. Moreton used 6 bowlers to good effect, with everyone picking up wickets, although Tompy failed to reproduce the dizzy heights of 2 weeks ago, and Westy & Sam shared the plaudits with 3 wickets each. Nic, on loan from his Dad's birthday, kindly kept wicket, as Bomber was unable to fit us into his hectic schedule. Miele's score of just 75 certainly didn't look bombproof, and even a Mieles finest spin machine (pictured) would have struggled to defend it.


Dave T showed why he's going on tour to Bordeaux, with a classy duck. Charlie finally managed to unwrap his new blade, and produced the biggest swing of the night to excite the crowd on the back benches. Tim kept the scoreboard moving (19), whilst Carl & Westy fought over who should wear the Duck Hat. The final coalition of Capt Jonny (22*) & Old Pro Row steered us to a decisive victory in Moreton North.

It's a bowler's pitch.................

Thursday night cricket is back, and our first game was against The Footballer's Cricket Club. News had filtered through that qualification requirements for FCC had been tightened this year, to exclude all one legged people, born on a Tuesday morning, in a leap year; but eventually Piglet had his eclectic team ready for the off at 6pm. More than can be said for Moreton, who took to the field minus Sam Smith, who could be heard shouting "Sorry" from about a mile away as he was driven here at a leisurely pace.
Jonny opened the bowling and immediately took out Chris Lewis' stumps with a straight one; the perfect start ! Bus Pass Lewis Snr, showed more resolve & steadied the ship for FCC. Kaz & Westy bowled well & deserved their wickets. Dave T tried to get off the mark with an Al Qaeda style run to Jonny at mid off, who looked up in disbelief, started laughing at the infidel, but still managed to shovel the ball near enough to the stumps for Sam to run him out. Sammy bowled well too, and apologised even better. Simon had a good over, delivering balls with a volcanic ash coating out of the sun to bamboozle the footballers. It was left to their 2 pros, Piglet & Colin to save their day, scoring 54 out of their total of 77, from 16 overs. Only 1 dropped catch I think Oli- but it was a tough one. Rib crunching dives from Tim, are being regretted as I type.

Still 78 to win off 16 overs should have been a walk in the rec, as they say..........

Ed & Tim opened the batting, boasting nearly 4 metres & approaching 100 years between them- a frightening sight for the oppo ! Ed, despite not having played for a while, showed that his Eton education was worth every penny, with some classic drives, and witty repartee. Tim also looked in good form, and we were coasting along at 29-0 when the Captain demanded more from the touchlines. Ed responded by getting out, Charlie came in, peeling off the wrapper from a new piece of timber; sparkling, virgin, totally unblemished, reflecting brightly in the late evening sun. He returned 35 seconds later to the pavilion with bat condition unchanged; the first duck of the season, and a chance for Jonny to get out his "Duck hat " or as I think Claire Balding would call it, a fascinator. Photos were taken of the victim, but, in the meantime Spuz had succumbed to Thompy's 3rd ball, to give him a hatrick, and the quickest "pass" of the fascinator you could imagine. Would Jonny's camera have enough film for the evening ? Wickets continued to fall regularly, and despite Tim & Kaz hitting 6's to encourage the home team, we never really recovered. Capt Yaxley, out off an unlucky deflection, summed up our evening. Spuz gratefully passed the duck to Sam, who retained it thanks to Simon scrambling a single, before discovering 44 yards was too much for him.
Wot, no mention of Bomber I hear you ask ? Surely a game cannot have passed without Bomber registering a mention ? Well, actually Bomber kept wicket well, finished not out on 8, and paid his tab, so he would have been awarded "man of the match" if it weren't for Rule 4 subsection 6 which states that Bomber should never be given praise, trophies, awards, or sweets for anything achieved on the cricket field. Oh, but he is eligible for the Duck Hat.

Look forward to next week- Sam don't forget the DH- we're fielding first..............

Pre season social

Well not long now til we get started on the cricket, so time for a pre-season get together at The Bear for pub sports. thursday 11th March 8pm.



Everyone welcome





Cheers





Tim

MCC AGM

Takes place this Friday in The Bear. I was looking forward to seeing the agenda beforehand, but hey I can be so unrealistic sometimes......