Unbeaten home run extended.................

......................with an away loss to Cuxham.
Cuxham always field a strong side at home, mainly consisting of huntin' shootin' & fishin' types with the odd psycho-analyst thrown in for good measure. Moreton fielded their usual Thursday team, mainly consisting of workin' types, with Bomber thrown in for good measure. The "Big 3" arrived in Charlie's convertible to the sound of The Clash blasting out, and Carl was peeled from the deepest corner of the back seat, 2 sizes smaller than the start of the journey. News was that we were batting first, and Tim was sent straight out to bat with Nige.
Not an easy pitch to bat on, with the ball keeping low; Tim batted like an opener for the first time ever, and slowly accumulated 29*, but the steady fall of wickets at the other end, meant we were always under a par score. Bomber, at square leg umpire, looked concerned that his captain might "leapfrog" him in the batting averages with a highly promising 3 not out, but found the solution in his finger, spitefully giving him out off the last ball of our innings.
Westy & Jonny bowled superbly, with Westy picking up 4 wickets in his spell, & Nige took a good catch at square leg to keep Cuxham on the back foot. Sam, Joe & Simon kept the pressure on with more good bowling on a helpful pitch, and the result was in doubt for most of the match. Key moment, when their ump showed Bomber how to turn a "blind eye" when your team need you, and Cuxham scraped home with 8 wickets down.
Back to the local for a few pints of expensive beer & delicious game pies. The journey home was somewhat marred by Bomber giving his car keys away to Joe, hiding in the bushes until everyone left, and then ringing round asking where his keys were ! Charlie manfully offered to drive back with aforementioned keys to rescue our star umpire !

Another complete shower................

.....................visited North Moreton today.
Yes the visitors from Mill street weren't over proficient in the cricketing department, and some of us joined them in their mediocrity, to ensure a competitive, close run game.The run rate was good for the first 4 balls of our innings, then the wicket rate threatened to overtake the run rate, before Sam & Vicksy steadied the ship with sensible batting. Joe looked good & Simon got a few, with his 9 iron, before Carl managed to evade the ball successfully in the final over.
So after Nigel totted it all up, we posted a total of 92 or was it 94 or maybe 93 in 15 overs of steady drizzle.
Jonny & Joe opened up with some hostile bowling, and we had an early wicket in the bag, despite the umpire trying to turn a blind eye to the bail being dislodged. The crowds wisely stayed away, and our bowlers were sadly not lifted by the sight of a committee member chain smoking in the bushes; a flurry of runs tilted the match back in Mill Street's favour, and the captain looked anxious. As the pressure built, one or two of our larger fielders looked a gallop short of full fitness, but finally the turning point came courtesy of the "techno" kid, who clung on to one of Simon's long hops as it sped towards what looked like another boundary. Thompy was the star bowler, but was well supported by Sam, Jonny & Joe, and we eventually slammed the door satisfyingly in their faces. A good effort- man of the match Sam.
Next week Cuxham away, will be a tougher & chewier proposition than this lot- be warned !!

It's great to be back...............

OK the weather was not what you would hope for, but there was a spring in the step of MCC members as the first "proper" game of the season got underway. The "visitors" were Southfield Nursing Home, with an odd "ringer" or younger relation, as they are called, bribed to turn out, and an easy victory was expected.
Capt Yaxley duly won the toss, mainly 'cos their captain couldn't see the coin, but who cares, and he correctly chose to bat. Tim & Nige put on 33 in the first 3 overs, well to be factual, Tim scored 28* and Nige watched- though to be fair he did go on to score 13 in his own time. A resident of Aston Tirrold came in next to give a demo on tree felling, before returning to the pavilion to complete ridicule- luckily Bomber is very thick skinned & momemtum was unaffected because Westy & Charlie kept the scoreboard moving with some decent strikes. Young Sam top scored with 29 & "PSV" Howard umpired with his usual ignorance of the rules of cricket- but we love him anyway ! Nigel had a geriatric moment with the scorebook, which made Southfield feel at home, and their target turned out to be just 152 to win, which coincidentally was the combined age of their opening bowlers !
At 12-4 the game was over- Tim had just put in an entry for catch of the day, Westy & Jonny were bowling well, and Vicksy was a revelation behind the stumps, (he's finally found something he's good at !) but Jonny decided to be charitable & put "wide boy" Bomber on, who offered them a glimmer of hope with the longest over of the day- luckily Sam & Simon restored some order with good bowling, and young Dan chipped in with a wicket, leaving Step Dad Thompy as the loser in that household. Darkness & rain followed, as Southfield batted for the draw that doesn't exist in Twenty20.

It was good to retire to The Bear for a curry & compare membership subscriptions with fellow players, who are all enjoying the FREE membership offer from the club this year.

Next week Jonny looks forward to Capt Beaky !!

2009 Tour & Festival

A couple of important dates for your diary:-


1. Moreton Beer & Cricket Festival will be Thursday 30th July- Sunday 2nd August inclusive. Features a 6 a side comp & a game v Amsterdam CC

2.Proposed tour to Bordeaux sun 5th July- Sat 11th give or take

Brightwell Stuffed !

In a vertebrae crushing show of strength, Moreton pulverised Brighwell in The Twenty20 finale to our 150th anniversary celebrations. Credit where it's due, if we still had to bowl underarm, Brightwell would be undoubted masters, but 150 years on, and Moreton rule OK !
Batting first, Brightwell were rather spineless against accurate bowling from a whole fleet of Macdonalds charging in from The Bear end, and a duet of Sam's from the bottom end, and the pressure we created forced some Laurel & Hardy running from the visitors, which entertained the crowd, but caused their run rate to drop through the roof. They managed a paltry 82 off their 20 overs, which is barely 1 rung up the ladder & definitely not enough of a climb to worry our batsmen.
Sam & Will were rather too casual, but Bomber broke the back of the target with a cracking innings, and Chris Mac put the lame dogs out of their misery, Flintoff style, with a roof shattering six into Bear Lane.
A great end to our season, but it's now time to put away the BBQ, turn on the central heating, re-roof the bungalow, and hope for a glorious summer next year.
Tally Ho !

Didcot campanologists finally prevail.......

Lots of familiar faces appeared for the annual Yaxley birthday challenge match against Didcot IV, and I must admit I thought we had an unfairly strong team, until it was pointed out that Yaxley had been up on his cherry picker again, and they were all playing for Didcot. One notable exception was "Trini" Bomber, who had been phoning Jonny all week, offering his services, but his calls remained unanswered. Jonny even offered "Susannah" a game, but unfortunately she was busy elswhere.


Batting first, Moreton spent most of the time ducking, or in Kaz's case, not ducking, bouncers. Nigel & Trini took cover behind the stumps, which proved to be a flawed strategy, and only Kaz & Tim managed meaningful contributions in a below par 101.
Didcot opened up with some of their Kolpak players, and quickly reached 77-1, helped by Trini's misfields, and despite good bowling from Kaz, Chris & Chris. With 2 players retiring, a remarkable thing happened; 2 bona-fide Didcot residents appeared at the crease, reminding us fondly of happier pre IPL days, when overseas signings were not allowed. Another lesser spotted Didcotian followed, and at least he had the pleasure of knocking off the last few runs.

An emotional Yaxley finally received the Shield he covets so much from Trevor " the flagpole erector" Denning, but kind words from The President were not matched by Jonny who couldn't find his "acceptance" notes, despite the fact that they had remained, untouched, in his trouser pocket for 4 years. Happy Birthday mate !


In other news, the author has heard, 5th hand, of a serious complaint from an important MCC member, who is objecting to being mentioned in our blog. I would like to apologise unreservedly to the afore(un)mentioned member for any distress this may have caused him & his family. I have agreed that in future he will only be named when he contributes something meaningful to the game, which should ensure no further problems arise.

Bomber luvs Will's Helmet

Moreton entertained WSC on an overcast evening, and batted first. Staino showed the crowd some textbook batting as he crawled to a top score of 22 off 9 overs, but others were perishing at the other end. Entertainment was thin on the ground until Tim tested the glass in the pavilion doors, and Bomber walked in with more protection than a jury in a Mafia trial. Unfortunately he couldn't see the ball for all the visors & grills, so kindly given by Will, so he got out cheaply. Thompy & the Tail wagged nicely to post an almost respectable score of 116. Captain Y opened the bowling, but made the mistake of handing the ball to Bomber at the other end, who generously donated 20 off his first over to give WSC a sniff of victory. Luckily Nic & Sam bowled well, & Lockey kept a tidy wicket, to keep the game in the balance until the final over, when 7 were required for victory.

Who would Jonny choose to bowl this all important final over ? Bomber was the outsider of 11 on the pitch, but JY, had a fiver on him at 33/1 and threw him the ball, as the crowd muttered "you twat" under their breath. Luckily Bomber was nerveless, and bowled a near perfect over to seal victory for Moreton in a thriller.

Come on Guys...........................

A comprehensive victory for Moreton over Mill St Wanderers. Sam, Tim, Vixi, & Sam ensured we had a healthy total to defend. One of the batting casualties was the captain who had to be sacrificed in the team cause (sorry mate !) but more than 8 an over always looked enough, so who cares ? Bomber snatched the gloves, after Steeno had kindly rubbed his back inbetween innings, and he chirrupped away all through their innings with phrases such as "come on guys" in a Dale Winton accent. This certainly put off Mill St, and combined with some tidy bowling and a great catch by Sam Smith, we always had things well under control,even allowing for Fletch dropping a sitter. A good game, and the captains eventually agreed to shake hands, so we're all still friends.


Tally Ho !

Dutch Masters

Post Bomber's puking, we rocked up at Rotterdam for a relaxing 2 day break. Some wanted a schmoke, some wanted a drink, Bry wanted an eastern european, and Wicksy wanted Dutch Art. This slightly odd lust should have rung alarm bells with the rest of us, but we just laughed it off as eccentric. Wicksy revealed his true (orange) colours the next day when playing for oppo.A true master of the undercover role, none of us had ever suspected he could actually play cricket, but when the time came Judas van Wicksbasten, as we now know him, produced a blinding spell of bowling to rip out the heart of his own team- what a little shit !! Despite decent knocks from Will, John H & Tim, van Wicksbasten & his new friends prevailed, and he has now sought refuge at Anne Frank`s House.
Elsewhere Percy Ronay was briefly in charge of restaurant selection, but his tenure is thankfully now over, and we are all gradually recovering from the food poisoning.On to Eindhoven today for more entertainment...........

Laters

new pb 4 bomber

bomber set a new record 4 puking when he chucked at reading services.

Germans turned over

Allan Lamb dutifully turned out in the rain to collect his Miele Dishwasher, and was astonished at the skills on show in North Moreton; apparently what surprised him most was Fuz going "all in " with just 10-4 off suit !
Moreton sought revenge for an abject display early in the season, and followed Croatia's example with a convincing win over the Krauts. Highlights included the return of Capt Yaxley, who unfortunately faced some unplayable bowling, a rare, and brief, sighting of the "lesser spotted" Squires, & some sweet hitting from Charlie & Fuz. I couldn't see much more through the rain, but I did see Allan Lamb drinking Magners whilst practicing his golf shots with an umbrella, occasionally looking up to officiate & shake his head at some of the woeful shots being played. Bomber celebrated the arrival of his bus pass with yet another score of 13- some might say this is an unlucky score for him ? The post match pep talk from the great one included many references to "not giving up the day job" until someone pointed out that half the team don't have jobs to give up.

Relief for Allan arrived in the shape of a BBQ and more Magners, coupled with copious amounts of autograph signing, which I'm sure our grandchildren will treasure in years to come.
Personally I think Lambey should be knighted, so we can call him "Serallan".

Thanks for an entertaining evening !

A pair of silver foxes spotted at The Bear

Aston too good.......

Some erratic bowling, good fielding & Dicky umpiring,(Unbelievably, their umpire retracted his lbw decision, when the batsmen told him he had hit it !!) allowed Aston to score 20 runs too many on a tricky batting track. Good catching from Thompy (3 catches) Dave "the juggler" Templeman & Tim wasn't matched by the bowlers who bowled too many wides, giving the oppo 3 extra overs of batting.
Nigel "The Gasman" Cross and Ivan "The Terrible" Bond had to face some good bowling and perished as they tried to up the tempo. Tim kept the innings going, but we were always behind the clock, despite some crisp hitting from Matt & Air Commodore Denning, at the death.
I still think we are missing a Captain, as it all felt a bit rudderless in the field.
What happened to the comeback Johnny ? Why wasn't Sam playing ?

Thankfully next weeks umpire is not such an arse.............................

Fuz wants to write the report, so over to him......

Moreton by 10...................

Yes wickets not runs.


So how was this ultimate cricket victory achieved ?

1. Modest opposition- very important this one- although Nigel tried his best to screw it up by donating Joe Wardle to them. Have a good look round next time Nige before you open your mouth !

2. In the absence of "Sick Note" Yaxley, we need an audible Captain with some knowledge of cricket- so well done to Tim for selecting Stuart from a short list of one. Some good decisions Stu.

3. One of which was to open up with Oli Squires, who is clearly enjoying his A level exams so much that he's bowling really well- or was he just showing off to his friend Jamie ?

4. Pair him with a bowler (?) who is so erratic, it de-stabilises the batsmen, who are all tearing muscles trying to reach the ball- nice one Bomber !

5.Bring on Matt & Sam to tighten the screw with accurate bowling. Kaz, please take note Sam is a much better bowler than Bomber, as his 4 for sweet f.a. proves. Use him or lose him, or his bike.

6.Ask Fuz to pay his subs. This incensed him so much, that he fielded magnificently, including hitting a single stump from 20 metres. That's £50 for club membership please Fuz !

7. Only let Carl touch the ball 3 times in the whole match- sorry mate !

8. Stick Dave on the boundary- he loves running around like a lunatic & has a good arm- also his ginger head is easy to spot in the gloom.

9. Remind Bomber that he's a shit bowler, and then ask him to open the batting.
The result 34 not out- beauty

10. Buy the Landlord a pint for his unbeaten 29.

Simple init.

See you on Thursday, but be warned Cuxham fail to meet criteria number 1.

Southfield prevail..............

Southfield produced a relatively sprightly team compared to their normal geriatric offering, and batted first on a benign pitch. Moreton seemed rudderless in the early overs, and conceded a few too many runs with the odd dropped catch thrown in for good measure (oops!). Westy, Joe & Sam all bowled well with Sam's C& B being the highlight, but Southfield posted a decent score, requiring a 7+ per over response. Westy started well, Stuart missed a straight one, and Tim rattled up an unbeaten 32 to put us in a good position. However the daylight was fading fast, and despite Nigel's quickfire 25, we always seemed to be just behind the required rate. This didn't deter Steeno, whose remarkable innings was rudely interrupted by the end of the match- how outrageous !
C U next Thursday

So Easy

This was our first game of the season, as last weeks effort (?) v The Krauts is null & void due to some work permit irregularities. Anyway it was nice to start the season with a resounding victory against our arch rival from the squash club. Our team assembled on time, and chose to field, with all late comers (Simon Steen) being donated to Wally Squash Club on a free transfer or £300 per hour, whichever was the cheapest. Solid bowling from Sam & Matt kept the scoring in check, and Matt took out their best bat with a beamer to the nose, to ensure there was no comeback. Bomber weighed in with 3 wickets, and Dave T notched a couple too, with the only low light being a Steeno 6 parried over the boundary by Simon. Still a few too many dropped catches if you ask me, but nevertheless a good all round fielding performance, which our absent captain would have enjoyed if he hadn't absconded with the "Sam Smith memorial bike fund" money to Albania.

WSC managed an inadequate 98 from their allotted overs, and Will & Bomber were tasked with knocking them off.. Bomber refused, and returned to the pavilion, leaving Charlie (27*) & Will (27) to blast the bowling. Will got out & Charlie retired, Stuart got careless, Sam got a golden. leaving Nige "no pads " Shandy-Hessey & Tim(19*) to finish the job.

Next up we welcome the Southfield Nursing Home All Star Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious XI

The only way is up...........

A piss poor effort for our first match to be brutally honest. OK, Miele had just beaten up Poland & overwhelmed Czechoslovakia, but they shouldn't have had the firepower to deal with a team containing The Lancaster Bomber, (soon to be retired, father of one), or Sam "Biker" Smith
(recently fought off a gang of hooded attackers) & that's without mentioning Wingco Denning who has defended our skies for many, many years.
Anyway reputations mean nowt, and we
scored insufficient runs in the vital last 6 overs- you know who you are.
bowled shite- you know who you are too.
dropped too many catches-B****r.
We could probably do with having a captain on the pitch too, as "spread out everyone" is hardly out of the Mike Brearley school of cricket captaincy.

To finish on a positive note- I really enjoyed my curry !!

Tim

PS the answers to earlier questions are....


Yes
Probably
Don't know
No
No
No

New Season............

A most enjoyable first outing of the season to Masooms in Goring, and we all voted heartfelt "thanks" to Simon for organising it so well- in his usual style of course. He has also arranged for Allan Lamb to Umpire in our second Miele game- Kaz was really quite surprised to hear of this achievement.

Anyway The Tour is not far away and we leave on Monday 7th July- "with or without you"- so if you are one of those that have "talked" but not acted- it's time to make a decision.

In the meantime, lots of questions to be answered this season.....

Bomber is now a Dad, will it cramp his style ?
Will it be chin up Howie as usual ?
Where's Robbo- The Pontefract Cat ?
Will Johnny Y be fit for the first match ?
Will Fuz play in The Didcot IV Challenge Shield ?
Will Ed or Simon sell their houses ?

See you all for the answers on Thursday 24th

Tim

Chin Up Didcot !

Despite resting some of their best players, Moreton comfortably dispatched the Didcot IV for the second year running. Johnny & Nic have promised to write their own views on the game, but as they are jumping out of a plane this morning, it may never happen- so here's a summary of why you lost

The Birthday Boy was spitefully run out by Fuz, who later, when the "chips" were down, failed to run fast enough to catch a cold, Howard predictably "dropped the Shield" 'cos the sun was in his eyes, the much hyped "Rent Boys" were useless with the bat & Thompy played no shot to the penultimate ball of the match.

Have I missed anything ?

THE LBW LAW FFS GUYS.

Evening, this post is to inform and educate some members of the squad, take note, even though there are no lbw's on a Thursday night, if you happen to be umpiring during a normal game your stupidity can have serious repercussions, so learn...

Officially:

LAW 36 LEG BEFORE WICKET

1. Out LBW

The striker is out LBW in the circumstances set out below.

(a) The bowler delivers a ball, not being a No ball

and (b) the ball, if it is not intercepted full pitch, pitches in line

between wicket and wicket or on the off side of the

striker's wicket

and (c) the ball not having previously touched his bat, the striker

intercepts the ball, either full pitch or after pitching, with

any part of his person

and (d) the point of impact, even if above the level of the bails

either (i) is between wicket and wicket

or (ii) is either between wicket and wicket or outside

the line of the off stump, if the striker has made

no genuine attempt to play the ball with his bat

and (e) but for the interception, the ball would have hit the

wicket.

2. Interception of the ball

(a) In assessing points (c), (d) and (e) in 1 above, only the first

interception is to be considered.

(b) In assessing point (e) in 1 above, it is to be assumed that the

path of the ball before interception would have continued

after interception, irrespective of whether the ball might have

pitched subsequently or not.

3. Off side of wicket

The off side of the striker's wicket shall be determined by the

striker's stance at the moment the ball comes into play for that

delivery.

Sourced from

http://www.lords.org/data/files/laws_of_cricket_2003-8685.pdf

the MCC and if they don't know the laws...



in easier to understand language:

Simon Hughes:

---

A red graphics strip is superimposed between the stumps to show where the ball pitched, and on which line the ball was travelling when it struck the batsman. The Red Zone is now familiar to TV audiences as part of the Hawk-Eye LBW package.

The three examples below illustrate how the Red Zone helps us to gauge which parts of the LBW law need to be considered if the batsman is struck on the pads in front of, or close to, the wicket.

The first picture shows a right-handed batsman receiving a ball which pitches outside the line (wicket to wicket) of the leg stump. If this happens he cannot be given out.

In the second picture we see a batsman struck on the pad outside the line of the off stump; because he is making a genuine attempt to play the ball then, in the opinion of the umpire, he cannot be given out.

In the third picture, however, there is no escape; if, in the umpire's opinion, the batsman is notmaking a genuine attempt to play the ball when struck outside the line of the off stump and the ball would have gone on the hit the stumps, then the batsman is out.

Copyright material reproduced under license from Macmillan Publishers Ltd. London, England

Copyright © Simon Hughes 2001

http://www.channel4.com/sport/cricket/analyst/misc/ana_14.html

BASICALLY:
unless the ball pitches perfectly (essentially on middle) does not move in either direction and is not too high it's not out.

just because it hits the pads doesn't mean we have to get trigger happy.

Unless you are 100% certain (which should happen about once every 12 years)
IT IS NOT OUT.

the sheer number of variables mean that an lbw at our level is the rarest thing going, not 3 in one game!

sorry for the rant but there were some shockers today so the message of this is:

if you are umpiring: it's NOT OUT ...ever...pretty much.