MCC Camera shy...........

Sky Sport sent a YTS reporter & cameraman to Blewbury to film the local derby on the Rubber Jonny pitch. Actually Blewbury have just won a prestigious award for the worst cricket pavilion in the country (they are the current holders too) and Sky couldn't wait to start filming the disgusting hovel. However, a delayed start, caused by a Blewbury retard, having make up applied to his huge conk, and fluffing his lines 5 times, did not work in our favour, and we were always struggling to score on the Splastic pitch. Ducks from Fuz, Ollie & Simon were greeted with glee, now the new "jug" rules are in operation, though Fuz claims he actually scored a 50, but was denied by the scorer. We capitulated to 69 for 11-how generous of our hosts, who are unable to play away games due to travel sickness, or is it that they can't afford the petrol ? Anyway, as Peter put it, "Bowling straight is tantamount to cheating on a Thursday evening "

Now to the positives...................

Good bowling on debut from Sam "Tadcaster" Smith, some great catching (no drops, and only 1 aborted attempt), the best "swagger" on view from Capt Jonny, a better pavilion, a better pub, better beer, better looking players, better WAGS. so as Howard would say - chin up- can't be good at everything.

Man of the match- Tadcaster

LMAO at Cuxham .....................

Jonny proved himself the complete "tosser" by calling correctly again, and decided to bat. He didn't count on Nigel rushing back past him to The Half Moon so quickly, but a Golden Duck is a life changer, and Nige has started drinking tops now, instead of shandies, as he struggles to deal with the shame of it. Luckily Lockey & Milesey were safe as usual, and Norman Stanley chipped in with a few to negate Fuzzy Duck's minimal contribution. Death from Above failed again, but a couple of cameos from Thompy on debut, & Olly helped us to 124. Captain Yaxley was finally out, but pronounced himself happy with 124, though he would have preferred to have the security of SS in the team at No 11. Cuxham fancied their chances big time, and even slagged us off to our undercover agent Vicky Picken. This information merely fuelled the desire to kill them them, and despite a dodgy first over courtesy of Ollie & "Chin Up" Williams, order was soon restored by tight bowling & fielding all round. A satisfying victory away from Fortress Moreton, and we need more of the same at Shitehole Blewbury next week.

PS New "fines" introduced this week by Captain Jonny.............

Golden Duck = 1 Jug
Duck = 1/2 Jug
Dropped Catch = 1/2 Jug
Being phoned in the pub by your nagging wife = 1/2 jug

Jug = 4 pints- be warned. Captains decision is final on catches-
if you go for a tough catch & fail it won't cost you !!

Mill St Stuffed

"A damp pitch"- mmm understatement of the year ! There is more life left in Gerald than that pitch, so we quickly revised our target score down from 250 to a more realistic 125. Stuart & his Gramps started steadily to give us a sound platform for the big hitters. But Bomber "bombed" & Sam stuttered, leaving Tim & Fuzz to top score before the tail wagged & Steeno scored the required single to reach 125 off the last ball. Skip looked quietly confident at the break, and Ollie, Sam & Fuzz didnt let us down with some tight opening overs. Nigel & Trevor were in buoyant mood having got their Thursday discounts at B& Q, and only a blind pigmy umpire deprived Fuzz of a clean bowled, out of the sun. Steeno, Peter & Howard shelled a few catches to keep them interested, but ultimately they were well beaten by a better team.
Man of the match Stuart Locke for a handy 20 & a blinding effort behind the stumps- Robbo should be worried.

Cuxham away next Thursday

Why ?

Can anyone explain why we failed to put up a team for The Village Cup Competition ? I know of several "useful" players who were not asked to play, and even if the opposition is very strong, such players would gain valuable experience playing in a higher grade. As it happens the game would probably have been called off due to rain, so we could have rescheduled, so a pretty poor decision if you ask me.

Anyone got any views on this one ?

Tim

Squash Crushed

A resounding victory for Midweek over the freeky fit feckers from Wallingford. Batting first, Squash started badly with a great run out from Matt, and a good catch on the boundary from Stuart. Good bowling from Jonny "stumpsoutoftheground" Yaxley, Matt & Ollie kept the run rate contained, and even though Simon C went for a fair few at the end, 141 looked possible on a fair batting track.

Nigel opened with Stuart, who could have been his grandson, and a superb partnership was forged, with Nige scoring prodigiously with his new blade- if only he'd bought it 50 years ago ! Nige retired, and Eg & Peter tried to f**k everything up, but their incompetence only spurred on Fletch & Fuzz. Sam will have to explain to the President, why he damaged the interior of the new pavilion-please see him in his office on Monday morning. A comfortble 7 wicket victory was achieved with 3 overs to spare.

To sum up in the words of the captain " cracking all round team performance from everyone, except ******** who was useless "

Next week Southfield home

Low Full Toss...

Miele rocked up with a team consisting of mainly Germans and Kaz Miles. They wanted to bowl, we wanted to bat, and so to the crease went Nigel Hessey and Wilf....
...and back in came Wilf. To the untrained eye he looked like a madman galloping up the wicket for an ill-conceived swat at the ball, however upon his return to the pavilion, he confirmed our worst suspicions- a low full toss. They say that with a good batting partnership when you lose one, the others not too far behind, Moreton have extended this philosophy to include the entire middle order.
Only the skipper, with a committed performance, stemmed the tide of wickets (semi-ably abetted by my good self) hitting a lovely 27 not out. A short while afterwards Moreton were all out for 75 off 15 overs.
There were some other notable moments from the innings including;
-A slightly aggrieved Fuz traipsing back to the pavilion having been run out by Kaz, whilst standing just short of the non-strikers end. It was a rocket of a throw mind.
- Matt, who looked in good touch, holing out to a man on the boundary just seconds after the bowler had yelled 'bloody hell' at lobbing down a long hop.
- Yaxley and yours truly running 3, then needing to recover for the rest of the over - we're not all as sprightly as Nigel you know.

It was just after the last wicket fell that Miele's ringers abandoned their German accents.
Their opening pair set about despatching Moreton's bowlers into the neighbouring field, and despite Simon 'the magnificent seven' Claridge and Peter 'the bomber' Lancaster's best efforts they just could not recreate the elusive low full toss. Despite the rain, which would have been Moreton's saviour, the visitors knocked up the total with the loss of just 2 wickets- both to the captain.

So that's the first game then... next week we play the boys with rubber balls.

Nic