Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Tour Notes from Torquay

We left The Bear at 09:00 on Sunday, and in normal circumstances we would expect Bomber to have been sick by 09:30. Phoned him at home at 09:40 and he hadn't chundered, which threw us somewhat, but hey the tour must go on.
Stopped at several charity shops for Wicksy to kit himself out, but unfortunately most were shut. Phil our driver seems a good guy, considering he's from Gloucester, and can't drive in reverse. We later discover he can play golf & poker. Arrive at Seaton after a detour down Devon's finest lanes. We all eat endangered species for lunch, except Wicksy, and arrive at the ground in good heart for a 2:30 start. Will pisses off his first person on tour by refusing to toss until he'd smoked another cigarette, and we end up fielding. First wicket goes to Charlie, caught by Tim, and everyone bowls really well to keep the run rate down. Their top scorer is a 10 year old with a speech impediment, so we're all feeling pretty good.With a target of 122, Tim & Squeak open and put on a healthy opening partership of 41, including a decent hit into the cheap housing at the north end of the ground. The partnership is finally broken when Squeak is dismissed for a Duck. John's in next and continues the good work. Tim gets bored and is out for 62, leaving Will & Fletch the simple task of both getting out cheaply. Smithy hits the winning runs with Rowan's specially imported bat & says sorry for the 38th time for taking a large chunk out of it-don't tell Rowan !
Off to Torquay & The Atlantis Hotel. Johnny has the bridal suite, whilst the rest of us slum it in 3' long beds. Friendly owners, or they were 'til they met Will. Nigel is fretting about his cat, Smithy is getting totally pissed on Cider.

5 comments:

Moretons 5th choice keeper said...

Save the Cod!

Führer said...

Save yourselves. You're all dropped for insubordination.

The Landlord said...

Monday morning dawned- plenty of comments about snoring & dodgy sausages on the breakfast plate. Other residents of The Atlantis are forming a long queue at the checkout desk now its been confirmed Will is staying until Wed morning. Todays entertainment starts with golf; we should have been suspicious when Phil offered to drive us all down to the course in reverse. Anyway he cleans up easily, whilst Will is sledging the bowls players next door. Nigel admits his golf form is suffering,as he deals with family illness, like that other well know left hander, Phil Mickelson.

Stop for lunch at Alberts Sports bar, which naturally only plays music videos. We make our own sport with a game of Dart (they only had 1) and pool, followed by Texas Poker. Poker is won by Phil, who is starting to piss people off now. Off to "Newton St Cyres under Exeter by the rail" for a Twenty20 thrash. Will & Sam exchange views on their educational achievements, whilst the home side look on in disbelief as they've never even heard of A levels ! Nige is still out of form, but Percy starts like a train and smashes 103 off 50 balls, whilst simultaneously closing down the East Devon Youth Tennis development scheme, by sending a barrage of missiles into the neighbouring tennis courts. The 19:10 from Exeter is also de-railed by another 6, but nobody seems to care.Kaz also gets in on the action with a 50+ & Will gets a Golden Duck as we finish on 203. Oppo don't get anywhere near it, so we head back to Torquay for more entertainment; Howard's turn to have a pop at Will, before we adjourn to Kim Longs for "Chinese & Sambucca" followed by Mambos for "Metal & Weirdos". Evening ends with Will & Rob being ejected from Mambos; Will for being a dick, and Rob for standing near a dick.
A most enjoyable & entertaining day !

The Landlord said...

Anyone have any photos they can email me & I'll post them here ?


Tim

The Landlord said...

Tuesdays game was a 2:30 start in Kingsbridge, so we spent the morning preparing in Wetherspoons, like true pros, having failed to find any pedalos to hire. Had an argument with the sat nav as we approached KB, as the silly cow kept insisting we turn left; finally resolved by turning her off- if only it was that easy........... Arrived at the ground to find the travelling barmy army there looking for cheap drinks.Bowled first and although they looked nothing special, the score board kept moving fast enough. Will Mac bowled superbly to grab 4 wickets,Smithy grabbed a couple at the death, spurred on by the offer of a couple of nice attributes on a plate, but we still had a biggish target, despite the short boundaries, of over 200 to win in 40 overs.John batted well again, and once JY was out for a duck, Will came in looking determined. In a classy display he played all the shots, including the reverse sweep & an attempted Dilshan flip; a quality ton that won us the match- credit where it's due I say.
Back to TQ for a final attempt to get Smithy laid. Fish & Chips first, followed by Beer & more action at Mambos. Rob got stuck in first, and then gave Sam the perfect way in to a pair of underage Torquay slappers. Unfortunately he shelled the opportunity by getting a bit tongue tied at the crucial moment, and his chance was lost. Never mind Sam- we'll sort it for you next year.

Final day started with presentations made at The Clock Tower whilst watching the Test Match; Will picks up the main prize, with consolation prizes for Tim (snoring) & Nige (rspca special award). Sure there's lots I forgot, so feel free to add your piece.

Our thanks to Johnny Yax & Nic Cross for organising the tour & to Phil for driving us round the bends.

Bordeaux next year ?