And then some twat of an umpire calls a wide when it passes between the batsman's legs ! Probably the biggest thrill he's had for ages. What a complete Cricket Understanding Not Today !
Winning the toss, we elected to bat, the sun bearing down on us putting to rest some conspiracy theories that the planet isn't heating up. The TOP trotted out, ed falling for two in the second over, which spured a minor collapse, seeing tim out for fifteen with Nigel, Carl and wicksy getting four between them.
At thirty four for five, it seemed to be slipping away from us and it took a captain's innings from jonny to steady the ship, staying till the end with a respectable fifteen, whereas I at the other end in true volvo fashion tried to smash everything and ended on thirty two retired. Tompy then decided he liked the look and feel of the duck hat so much that he walked in and walked straight out again. Sammy, jealous that his precious had been taken away, did his very best to keep it, then scraping six before locke in his first game gave the captain some good support Moreton ending up on the total of 115.
The fielding did once again reflect the weather, and Moreton seemed primed to snatch victory. A man I have never met before, who shares a name with a certain squat loving table tennis enthusiast Matt Wicks bowled two spectacular overs and two good ones, ending on figures of twenty for four.
As the match progressed we were able to keep the run rate down, although some slight sloppiness in the field meant that the opposition were always in it, but wickets steadily fell as we approached the end. As the bowling options grew very thin, thinner than piece of tracing paper, the ball was thrown to me to see off the last couple of overs with jonny. I went for nine of my first, jonny then soaking up the pressure with one from his next. The opposition were on their feet, the crowd tense and was tossed the ball for a final over. A no ball to start. Then a dot ball. Another dot ball. Then a wide. Then a four. Then two more dot balls as the batsmen in clearly didn't want to give away the strike ( a real team game then ).
Off the last ball they needed four, I ran in, and delivered what I thought was a winning ball, going in between the batsmen's legs just missing leg stump. The team rejoiced, shouts and cheers.... I turned to see the umpire signal a wide. What? Thrown and perplexed as to the decision I was told 'anything down the leg side is a wide'. I then proceeded to throw the game away with a no ball six, and the opposition cheered. It was all over.
*nb As it turns out, it wasnt a wide, the umpire was wrong, even in limited overs cricket that is not a wide, he was a cheating, dishonest, ignorant to the rules slimeball. But whatever helps him sleep at night.
8 comments:
And then some twat of an umpire calls a wide when it passes between the batsman's legs ! Probably the biggest thrill he's had for ages. What a complete Cricket Understanding Not Today !
I could not have put that any better myself mate.What a twat!
We're not letting Carl & Peter play anymore; they're having way too much fun
Finally after 2 hours with Jehova's Witnesses over lunch, Rob "I" Mcgregor has delivered his match report- please see below................
Winning the toss, we elected to bat, the sun bearing down on us putting to rest some conspiracy theories that the planet isn't heating up. The TOP trotted out, ed falling for two in the second over, which spured a minor collapse, seeing tim out for fifteen with Nigel, Carl and wicksy getting four between them.
At thirty four for five, it seemed to be slipping away from us and it took a captain's innings from jonny to steady the ship, staying till the end with a respectable fifteen, whereas I at the other end in true volvo fashion tried to smash everything and ended on thirty two retired. Tompy then decided he liked the look and feel of the duck hat so much that he walked in and walked straight out again. Sammy, jealous that his precious had been taken away, did his very best to keep it, then scraping six before locke in his first game gave the captain some good support Moreton ending up on the total of 115.
The fielding did once again reflect the weather, and Moreton seemed primed to snatch victory. A man I have never met before, who shares a name with a certain squat loving table tennis enthusiast Matt Wicks bowled two spectacular overs and two good ones, ending on figures of twenty for four.
As the match progressed we were able to keep the run rate down, although some slight sloppiness in the field meant that the opposition were always in it, but wickets steadily fell as we approached the end. As the bowling options grew very thin, thinner than piece of tracing paper, the ball was thrown to me to see off the last couple of overs with jonny. I went for nine of my first, jonny then soaking up the pressure with one from his next. The opposition were on their feet, the crowd tense and was tossed the ball for a final over. A no ball to start. Then a dot ball. Another dot ball. Then a wide. Then a four. Then two more dot balls as the batsmen in clearly didn't want to give away the strike ( a real team game then ).
Off the last ball they needed four, I ran in, and delivered what I thought was a winning ball, going in between the batsmen's legs just missing leg stump. The team rejoiced, shouts and cheers.... I turned to see the umpire signal a wide. What? Thrown and perplexed as to the decision I was told 'anything down the leg side is a wide'. I then proceeded to throw the game away with a no ball six, and the opposition cheered. It was all over.
*nb As it turns out, it wasnt a wide, the umpire was wrong, even in limited overs cricket that is not a wide, he was a cheating, dishonest, ignorant to the rules slimeball. But whatever helps him sleep at night.
"Didn't Tim take a good catch and run someone out"... probably not, I've never seen him move that fast.
That was a crap write up Rob!You could do so much better. The game didn't just revolve around you ya know!!!
Have you got an iphone now ?
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