Another Warner Bros production.........................

Inter Allsorts are usually one of the weaker teams we play, and " just here for the crack" is a phrase often heard when they visit Moreton. With their recent eviction from a well known 6 a side tournament, and the ongoing libel case against a national newspaper for referring to them as Inter Allsnorts, we wondered if there would be an extra edge to them . They actually followed the Southfield path of recruiting 2 proper cricketers en route; easily identifiable by their cricket whites, let's call these two Warner and Warner for arguments sake.

Moreton were missing Sammy, who was having "bird" trouble.............................

  and Thompy arrived so late all the shirts had gone, so he became the  "3rd cricketer" on the IA team. Jonny still has "bird" flu, no doubt contracted from Sammy, so Dave continued his reign as Moreton's most successful skipper ever. Successful he may be, but Dave still has to come to grips with some of the small print clauses for Thursday night cricket, and you could have heard a rolled up banknote drop, as he considered his options for opening the batting. Thankfully the correct decision was reached, and TOP strode out to the wicket (7 strides each) with purpose. IA predictably opened up with Warner, and Tim was dropped twice, including a drop from Bro Warner, who foolishly put his pinkie in the way of a full blooded drive. Ed & Tim racked up 50 between them before Ed got bored, Tim retired, and Davey T failed to hit a 6 (all perfectly predictable). Howard strode to the wicket (23 strides) minus purpose, but having got off the mark with a boundary, he soon found his touch and raced to a PB of 35 , including a glorious 6. (Dave T watch & learn). In the meantime the Warner Bros, reverted to type, and put on a comedy show on the boundary, bumping into each other, like a pair of circus clowns to ensure yet another catch went down............

 Wicksy (why does predictive text suggest Wick sexy ?) is so masterful on a Thursday, and he is still trying to get an average, after yet another "not out" performance. Stuart also hit the heights with an unbeaten 27, and with Angus running himself out so he could go and get some Supper at home, we finished on 165 -3.

Dave showed scant regard for the Warner Bros, as he planned to use untried and untested bowlers throughout the innings, including an opening over from The Landlord, of all people. The fielding was excellent, and the backing up zone behind the keeper often resembled the M25 at rush hour. Some full length dives were also spotted, and regulars will know this endangered species is rarely seen on a Thursday evening. Catches were held all round the park, to complete a superb Mid Summer display from the Midweek Boys. One moment of "Deja vu", when  a Warner person charged at Howard's bowling, missed it and was stumped by Stu; Warner complained that Stu had moved whilst the bowler was running up, which of course is illegal (you have to ask why Warner was watching the keeper rather than the bowler though !). As Stu lives in your village, Warner, we suggest you take it up with him direct, and stop bothering us with your problems ! Final amusement provided by Tim getting two wickets in the penultimate over, including Bro Warner and Thompy, followed by Ed getting the most undeserved wicket of Tutty in the final over; some unexpected fantasy points scored there !

Man of the match for his consistent bowling and overwhelmingly middle class batting is Howard !

Moreton win by 46 runs

Warner Bros play cartoon cricket

Southfield attempted to live up to their self styled "superstar" billing by hijacking 3 "gun" cricketers from league clubs. They looked highly competitive, pumped up and eager to get the game over quickly. Someone should have told them it's a Thursday, and this sort of behaviour is most unbecoming ! The angriest of the 3, let's call him Warner, and his lookalike brother Warner, looked for some fresh faced kids to punch, but with Angus & Josh both absent, they had to take it out on Sammy. If they had known he was about to get an owl tattoo on his arm, they might have considered this an unwise move, but ignorance is bliss and they smashed our feathered friend all around the ground. 

 The Looney Tunes theme continued with their no 3, and it took a smart catch from Lachlan at deep mid off to claim our first wicket. 110 from 11 overs with plenty of wickets in hand caused us slight distress, Warner Bros huge smugness, and Southfield some embarrassment. Davey T & Thompy bowled superbly to the real Southfield players, and with 3 wickets each turned the game around. The final danger manifested itself with the return of  Wan*er Warner. Thankfully he showed true "Warner judgement" by failing to connect, getting stumped by Stu, and then arguing about it all the way back to the pavilion ! 

Target could have been 190, but was actually 119 !

TimTom sounds like a sat nav device, and this new opening partnership knew exactly where they were heading, as they blunted the LT bowling, upped the tempo after 4 overs, and then both retired. Stu hooked Warner to the boundary, and Capt Dave & Thompy's calmness contrasted strikingly with the apoplectic Warner brother, who quite frankly lost the plot and threw the game away for them with his ridiculous overthrows. It was left to pipe smoking Mr Dibbly Dobbly of Southfield to show the whippersnapper how it's done, using all 98 years of his experience to lure our own Aussie tear away into a cunning duck trap. Mr DD stayed on long into the night, supping ale, and spinning a few yarns to a young an impressionable Nigel., whilst the adrenalin monkeys raced around North Moreton in search of a Walkabout bar and VIP area to drink their fizzy pop in.

We look forward to engaging with you again next year, when you may well be a whole year older if not wiser !

In other news, Bomber's studio has been open for business for 12 days, 6 hours and 7 minutes. He has nearly run out of scones, so I suggest you get over there soon !

Argonauts rolled over

Jason & his followers arrived in their quest for victory at Moreton in glorious sunshine.......

With Jason suffering severe hair loss, and the Argo now replaced with a couple of white vans and a blue pick up, they rebranded themselves as Jason & the COB (Crispin Old Boys)- no doubt hoping we wouldn't remember their last visit here in 2005 under the White Horse Brewery tag; a less enthusiastic welcome this time as they arrived sans beer. They also arrived without a square leg umpire, and wanted to chuck out the lbw rule as well; but they did win the toss and decided to bat. Moreton were missing Jonny (ouching) Bomber (framing) Ed (resting) & Westy (fire fighting) but new skip Dave wasn't fazed and soon got his team organised with the usual Thursday night detailed fielding instruction of "spread out".

COB were pretty fluent with the bat, and assisted by dropped catches from Sam (absolute shocker) Wayne (straight at him) Matt (sun in his eyes) Stuart (not tall enough) they piled on the runs. Lack of Square leg ump meant 2 run outs & a stumping being denied, lack of eyesight, hearing & honesty cost us a caught behind, whilst lack of lbw meant another 8 wickets gone west. Howard was allowed 2 wickets and their score of 152-5 at nearly 8 an over looked pretty good despite the good wicket and short boundary.

Tim & Dave started slowly with 2 maiden overs, and the team looked restless in the pavilion. Dave found his touch first and leading from the front accelerated to an unbeaten 29. Tim eventually got going with some straight hitting, and Sir Francis carried on in a similar vein, with one huge hit to "cow" the highlight of his unbeaten 29. The Culture Club of Wicksey & Lockey steered us home calmly, and a great 10 wicket win (as rare as a sighting of Bomber in whites) was achieved for the second night running by a Moreton team.

Thanks to Charlie Esse for unpiring; he was so good I think he should have been allowed at least 1 more over ! Over 300 runs scored under blue skies- this is how it should be !

Where's Bomber ?

Regular "midweek" readers will know that we are partial to a bit of Bomber Baiting. As one of the first to renew his cricket membership, you might expect him to have played a few games by now, but sadly he has not been sighted. A re-occurrence of housemaids knee ?   No he is in fact fully employed in his "Guild Commended" framing gallery in Aston Tirrold, which he foolishly asked me to help him promote....

www.lancasterframing.co.uk

The Studio itself is a great example of his framing skills, as you will see subtle examples of his work all over the fascia, such as a beautifully straight piece of timber moulding running vertically for the full height of the building.  I am reliably informed that Tea & Scones are served, by the great man himself, on the terrace daily,

....and if you spend over £50 you can have a FREE go on his trampoline !


Come back Bomber- your team needs you !