Beer & Cricket Fest

THURSDAY- well done to Sam Smith & his team; a comprehensive victory over Warborough. When asked for a view, Sam said " I am pleased we beat them 'cos they were right cocks "

Bomber is 8 under par..................

.........which would be pretty useful up at Hadden Hill, but not all that helpful for Thursday cricket ! He reached -8 with 2 bloopers on the boundary; the second being a particularly clownish effort, even by Bomber's standards. FCC posted a total of 102, which shouldn't have been enough. Wicksey claimed top spot with 4 wickets, and Rob was chuckling on the boundary at the stand in keeper Lockey. Nige took a good catch in the deep, Simon turned a couple, and was even seen walking in with the bowler at one point. Jonny bowled well & so did Sammy, even though he dropped a "stinger", but the dressing room was content at the change over. The FCC "ringers" bowled well, to make up for their lack of football experience, and the run rate was not easy to keep on top of. Tim did his best, launching Nick for a couple of sixes, and topped the batting. Bomber failed to get out of negative equity with a duck. Carl twatted a couple, Jonny got a golden (again), this time to Dave T of all people. Nige ran out Maha when he was in full flow with a PB.
Fletch had a chance to be a hero, but fluffed it again.
Well played Blewbury Aston, Soccer, Training And Research, Development Side !

Wallingford Squashed Club...............

Tour Notes from Torquay

We left The Bear at 09:00 on Sunday, and in normal circumstances we would expect Bomber to have been sick by 09:30. Phoned him at home at 09:40 and he hadn't chundered, which threw us somewhat, but hey the tour must go on.
Stopped at several charity shops for Wicksy to kit himself out, but unfortunately most were shut. Phil our driver seems a good guy, considering he's from Gloucester, and can't drive in reverse. We later discover he can play golf & poker. Arrive at Seaton after a detour down Devon's finest lanes. We all eat endangered species for lunch, except Wicksy, and arrive at the ground in good heart for a 2:30 start. Will pisses off his first person on tour by refusing to toss until he'd smoked another cigarette, and we end up fielding. First wicket goes to Charlie, caught by Tim, and everyone bowls really well to keep the run rate down. Their top scorer is a 10 year old with a speech impediment, so we're all feeling pretty good.With a target of 122, Tim & Squeak open and put on a healthy opening partership of 41, including a decent hit into the cheap housing at the north end of the ground. The partnership is finally broken when Squeak is dismissed for a Duck. John's in next and continues the good work. Tim gets bored and is out for 62, leaving Will & Fletch the simple task of both getting out cheaply. Smithy hits the winning runs with Rowan's specially imported bat & says sorry for the 38th time for taking a large chunk out of it-don't tell Rowan !
Off to Torquay & The Atlantis Hotel. Johnny has the bridal suite, whilst the rest of us slum it in 3' long beds. Friendly owners, or they were 'til they met Will. Nigel is fretting about his cat, Smithy is getting totally pissed on Cider.

Would the real duck please stand up ......

We always enjoy a good competitive game against Aston, led by Capt B.T & last night was right up there. Aston stung by their dramatic loss last time, bolstered their team with more youth & gob, whilst Moreton remained curiously confident, despite the presence of Bomber- why was this the case ? Having decided to bat first, Johnny explained his cunning plan; Bomber would be sent in as a "decoy" batsmen, high up the order, a place normally reserved for show offs such as Fletch. His mission to play badly enough that the oppo completely relaxed,thinking they were into the tail & put on some lesser bowlers for us to plunder. Unfortunately Bomber was not in long enough for Aston to realise how bad he is, as he fell to a second ball duck, thus scuppering weeks of meticulous planning

One of these is an industrious, skillful, hard working member of the team, can you spot him ?
(the others are just fakes)

A





B






C



Please send your answers on a post card to the non-playing Club Sec, who will give out cash prizes for all correct answers.

Back to the match........................
However. Moreton still posted a very healthy 174 with lots of contributions ( except Bomber of course) including
Tim 44*, Wicksy 36*. Johnny 28* & Sam Smith 25.

Sam & Westy kept them on the back foot with some fine bowling,& we particulary enjoyed an uprooted stump from Westy but it was Thompy who bagged the wickets with 3-24. Johnny bowled a short but economical spell & Simon finished the job with a "wrong un" expertly taken behind the stumps by Rob.

Final footnotes, I thought the pitch was a belter for batting, and a credit to the Head Groundsman, Mr Peter "Mallard" Lancaster- shame he couldn't make more personal use of the facilities !

Happy Touring !

More from JY..................................

As I was otherwise engaged, it's over to Johnny to post the story of Captain Beaky................

Battle of Moreton is lost..............

Internal politics saw our very own secret weapon "Bomber" donated to the enemy; this was no goodwill gesture, just an error of judgement. Herr Miles looked pretty pleased with his new acquisition, and although Peter is no "oil painting"





(Peter plans the downfall of his teammates -
"I will fight them on the beaches...............")




he is certainly a club "treasure" and should be treated accordingly; (i.e. kept for our own personal amusement !)

Batting first, MCC won the early skirmishes, as Tim claimed aerial superiority over the visitors, but wickets kept going down, and even Sam's brave resistance was ultimately futile, as Miele, took no prisoners, and blitzed us out with Teutonic efficiency.

101 was never going to be enough to challenge Miele, and even "Bomber" taxied out to the middle looking confident in his new role. "Double fisting" is Peter's modus operandi, and he proceeded to bash a few out of the park, before returning to the pavilion to show his new friends how he did it.

So a disappointing end to our unbeaten home record, but thankfully peace was restored afterwards in The Bear over a curry & a pint or six.

Vote Kaz.............

As election day wound down, the focus switched away from those dodgy, cheating, lying bastards to the more honourable pastime of representing your cricket club. No Inzimam al Lancaster for us; he is still sulking, after being named 23rd man last weekend. To be honest he looks more like one of those camel shagging terrorists, than a bona fida cricketer, but he assures us he's working on it in his spare time !

Anyway,Aston turned up, we batted, and at 28-5 looked in more trouble than Gordon Brown. Unlike the aforementioned jock, we managed a magnificent fightback, led by Kaz with an unbeaten 50, JY with a PB of 14, and ably supported by father to be Thompy, MCC somehow reached a respectable score of 150. Thompy unfortunately showed a serious lack of commitment to the team, by leaving early, before he bowled, to attend some minor family event at the JR- lightweight !

Luckily he was replaced by the more substantial figure of Fen, who immediately commanded respect from the batsmen with his enthusiastic running & sliding stops, apparently so expertly taught by his Dad, Charlie !

Plenty of others also stepped up to the mark, to apply some pressure to the Brummy twat & his mates. Although Wicksy has booked to see a chiropractor about his neck, badly strained while watching the ball fly back over his head, even he came back strongly. Kaz, Sam, Johnny & Joe all bowled well too, Rob performed well with the gloves, Carl fielded like a demon on the boundary & Simon sent 36 text messages whilst fielding at mid wicket, which is a new club record. Needing 27 from the last 2 overs, Aston's effort whimpered out, and a great victory was ours !

Well played everyone, but to be honest, without Kaz we were stuffed, and next week he's playing against us for the Krauts !

The team nobody wanted..............

lift the cup !

Congatulations to Johnny Y & his team for thrashing Brightwell and bringing back the Anniversary Cup to The Bear.
Even more meritoriously, this was achieved without the services of our 23rd man- Bomber.
JY has promised to provide the detail of how this glorious victory was achieved..................................

Unbeaten home run extended.................

......................with an away loss to Cuxham.
Cuxham always field a strong side at home, mainly consisting of huntin' shootin' & fishin' types with the odd psycho-analyst thrown in for good measure. Moreton fielded their usual Thursday team, mainly consisting of workin' types, with Bomber thrown in for good measure. The "Big 3" arrived in Charlie's convertible to the sound of The Clash blasting out, and Carl was peeled from the deepest corner of the back seat, 2 sizes smaller than the start of the journey. News was that we were batting first, and Tim was sent straight out to bat with Nige.
Not an easy pitch to bat on, with the ball keeping low; Tim batted like an opener for the first time ever, and slowly accumulated 29*, but the steady fall of wickets at the other end, meant we were always under a par score. Bomber, at square leg umpire, looked concerned that his captain might "leapfrog" him in the batting averages with a highly promising 3 not out, but found the solution in his finger, spitefully giving him out off the last ball of our innings.
Westy & Jonny bowled superbly, with Westy picking up 4 wickets in his spell, & Nige took a good catch at square leg to keep Cuxham on the back foot. Sam, Joe & Simon kept the pressure on with more good bowling on a helpful pitch, and the result was in doubt for most of the match. Key moment, when their ump showed Bomber how to turn a "blind eye" when your team need you, and Cuxham scraped home with 8 wickets down.
Back to the local for a few pints of expensive beer & delicious game pies. The journey home was somewhat marred by Bomber giving his car keys away to Joe, hiding in the bushes until everyone left, and then ringing round asking where his keys were ! Charlie manfully offered to drive back with aforementioned keys to rescue our star umpire !

Another complete shower................

.....................visited North Moreton today.
Yes the visitors from Mill street weren't over proficient in the cricketing department, and some of us joined them in their mediocrity, to ensure a competitive, close run game.The run rate was good for the first 4 balls of our innings, then the wicket rate threatened to overtake the run rate, before Sam & Vicksy steadied the ship with sensible batting. Joe looked good & Simon got a few, with his 9 iron, before Carl managed to evade the ball successfully in the final over.
So after Nigel totted it all up, we posted a total of 92 or was it 94 or maybe 93 in 15 overs of steady drizzle.
Jonny & Joe opened up with some hostile bowling, and we had an early wicket in the bag, despite the umpire trying to turn a blind eye to the bail being dislodged. The crowds wisely stayed away, and our bowlers were sadly not lifted by the sight of a committee member chain smoking in the bushes; a flurry of runs tilted the match back in Mill Street's favour, and the captain looked anxious. As the pressure built, one or two of our larger fielders looked a gallop short of full fitness, but finally the turning point came courtesy of the "techno" kid, who clung on to one of Simon's long hops as it sped towards what looked like another boundary. Thompy was the star bowler, but was well supported by Sam, Jonny & Joe, and we eventually slammed the door satisfyingly in their faces. A good effort- man of the match Sam.
Next week Cuxham away, will be a tougher & chewier proposition than this lot- be warned !!

It's great to be back...............

OK the weather was not what you would hope for, but there was a spring in the step of MCC members as the first "proper" game of the season got underway. The "visitors" were Southfield Nursing Home, with an odd "ringer" or younger relation, as they are called, bribed to turn out, and an easy victory was expected.
Capt Yaxley duly won the toss, mainly 'cos their captain couldn't see the coin, but who cares, and he correctly chose to bat. Tim & Nige put on 33 in the first 3 overs, well to be factual, Tim scored 28* and Nige watched- though to be fair he did go on to score 13 in his own time. A resident of Aston Tirrold came in next to give a demo on tree felling, before returning to the pavilion to complete ridicule- luckily Bomber is very thick skinned & momemtum was unaffected because Westy & Charlie kept the scoreboard moving with some decent strikes. Young Sam top scored with 29 & "PSV" Howard umpired with his usual ignorance of the rules of cricket- but we love him anyway ! Nigel had a geriatric moment with the scorebook, which made Southfield feel at home, and their target turned out to be just 152 to win, which coincidentally was the combined age of their opening bowlers !
At 12-4 the game was over- Tim had just put in an entry for catch of the day, Westy & Jonny were bowling well, and Vicksy was a revelation behind the stumps, (he's finally found something he's good at !) but Jonny decided to be charitable & put "wide boy" Bomber on, who offered them a glimmer of hope with the longest over of the day- luckily Sam & Simon restored some order with good bowling, and young Dan chipped in with a wicket, leaving Step Dad Thompy as the loser in that household. Darkness & rain followed, as Southfield batted for the draw that doesn't exist in Twenty20.

It was good to retire to The Bear for a curry & compare membership subscriptions with fellow players, who are all enjoying the FREE membership offer from the club this year.

Next week Jonny looks forward to Capt Beaky !!

2009 Tour & Festival

A couple of important dates for your diary:-


1. Moreton Beer & Cricket Festival will be Thursday 30th July- Sunday 2nd August inclusive. Features a 6 a side comp & a game v Amsterdam CC

2.Proposed tour to Bordeaux sun 5th July- Sat 11th give or take

Brightwell Stuffed !

In a vertebrae crushing show of strength, Moreton pulverised Brighwell in The Twenty20 finale to our 150th anniversary celebrations. Credit where it's due, if we still had to bowl underarm, Brightwell would be undoubted masters, but 150 years on, and Moreton rule OK !
Batting first, Brightwell were rather spineless against accurate bowling from a whole fleet of Macdonalds charging in from The Bear end, and a duet of Sam's from the bottom end, and the pressure we created forced some Laurel & Hardy running from the visitors, which entertained the crowd, but caused their run rate to drop through the roof. They managed a paltry 82 off their 20 overs, which is barely 1 rung up the ladder & definitely not enough of a climb to worry our batsmen.
Sam & Will were rather too casual, but Bomber broke the back of the target with a cracking innings, and Chris Mac put the lame dogs out of their misery, Flintoff style, with a roof shattering six into Bear Lane.
A great end to our season, but it's now time to put away the BBQ, turn on the central heating, re-roof the bungalow, and hope for a glorious summer next year.
Tally Ho !

Didcot campanologists finally prevail.......

Lots of familiar faces appeared for the annual Yaxley birthday challenge match against Didcot IV, and I must admit I thought we had an unfairly strong team, until it was pointed out that Yaxley had been up on his cherry picker again, and they were all playing for Didcot. One notable exception was "Trini" Bomber, who had been phoning Jonny all week, offering his services, but his calls remained unanswered. Jonny even offered "Susannah" a game, but unfortunately she was busy elswhere.


Batting first, Moreton spent most of the time ducking, or in Kaz's case, not ducking, bouncers. Nigel & Trini took cover behind the stumps, which proved to be a flawed strategy, and only Kaz & Tim managed meaningful contributions in a below par 101.
Didcot opened up with some of their Kolpak players, and quickly reached 77-1, helped by Trini's misfields, and despite good bowling from Kaz, Chris & Chris. With 2 players retiring, a remarkable thing happened; 2 bona-fide Didcot residents appeared at the crease, reminding us fondly of happier pre IPL days, when overseas signings were not allowed. Another lesser spotted Didcotian followed, and at least he had the pleasure of knocking off the last few runs.

An emotional Yaxley finally received the Shield he covets so much from Trevor " the flagpole erector" Denning, but kind words from The President were not matched by Jonny who couldn't find his "acceptance" notes, despite the fact that they had remained, untouched, in his trouser pocket for 4 years. Happy Birthday mate !


In other news, the author has heard, 5th hand, of a serious complaint from an important MCC member, who is objecting to being mentioned in our blog. I would like to apologise unreservedly to the afore(un)mentioned member for any distress this may have caused him & his family. I have agreed that in future he will only be named when he contributes something meaningful to the game, which should ensure no further problems arise.

Bomber luvs Will's Helmet

Moreton entertained WSC on an overcast evening, and batted first. Staino showed the crowd some textbook batting as he crawled to a top score of 22 off 9 overs, but others were perishing at the other end. Entertainment was thin on the ground until Tim tested the glass in the pavilion doors, and Bomber walked in with more protection than a jury in a Mafia trial. Unfortunately he couldn't see the ball for all the visors & grills, so kindly given by Will, so he got out cheaply. Thompy & the Tail wagged nicely to post an almost respectable score of 116. Captain Y opened the bowling, but made the mistake of handing the ball to Bomber at the other end, who generously donated 20 off his first over to give WSC a sniff of victory. Luckily Nic & Sam bowled well, & Lockey kept a tidy wicket, to keep the game in the balance until the final over, when 7 were required for victory.

Who would Jonny choose to bowl this all important final over ? Bomber was the outsider of 11 on the pitch, but JY, had a fiver on him at 33/1 and threw him the ball, as the crowd muttered "you twat" under their breath. Luckily Bomber was nerveless, and bowled a near perfect over to seal victory for Moreton in a thriller.

Come on Guys...........................

A comprehensive victory for Moreton over Mill St Wanderers. Sam, Tim, Vixi, & Sam ensured we had a healthy total to defend. One of the batting casualties was the captain who had to be sacrificed in the team cause (sorry mate !) but more than 8 an over always looked enough, so who cares ? Bomber snatched the gloves, after Steeno had kindly rubbed his back inbetween innings, and he chirrupped away all through their innings with phrases such as "come on guys" in a Dale Winton accent. This certainly put off Mill St, and combined with some tidy bowling and a great catch by Sam Smith, we always had things well under control,even allowing for Fletch dropping a sitter. A good game, and the captains eventually agreed to shake hands, so we're all still friends.


Tally Ho !

Dutch Masters

Post Bomber's puking, we rocked up at Rotterdam for a relaxing 2 day break. Some wanted a schmoke, some wanted a drink, Bry wanted an eastern european, and Wicksy wanted Dutch Art. This slightly odd lust should have rung alarm bells with the rest of us, but we just laughed it off as eccentric. Wicksy revealed his true (orange) colours the next day when playing for oppo.A true master of the undercover role, none of us had ever suspected he could actually play cricket, but when the time came Judas van Wicksbasten, as we now know him, produced a blinding spell of bowling to rip out the heart of his own team- what a little shit !! Despite decent knocks from Will, John H & Tim, van Wicksbasten & his new friends prevailed, and he has now sought refuge at Anne Frank`s House.
Elsewhere Percy Ronay was briefly in charge of restaurant selection, but his tenure is thankfully now over, and we are all gradually recovering from the food poisoning.On to Eindhoven today for more entertainment...........

Laters

new pb 4 bomber

bomber set a new record 4 puking when he chucked at reading services.

Germans turned over

Allan Lamb dutifully turned out in the rain to collect his Miele Dishwasher, and was astonished at the skills on show in North Moreton; apparently what surprised him most was Fuz going "all in " with just 10-4 off suit !
Moreton sought revenge for an abject display early in the season, and followed Croatia's example with a convincing win over the Krauts. Highlights included the return of Capt Yaxley, who unfortunately faced some unplayable bowling, a rare, and brief, sighting of the "lesser spotted" Squires, & some sweet hitting from Charlie & Fuz. I couldn't see much more through the rain, but I did see Allan Lamb drinking Magners whilst practicing his golf shots with an umbrella, occasionally looking up to officiate & shake his head at some of the woeful shots being played. Bomber celebrated the arrival of his bus pass with yet another score of 13- some might say this is an unlucky score for him ? The post match pep talk from the great one included many references to "not giving up the day job" until someone pointed out that half the team don't have jobs to give up.

Relief for Allan arrived in the shape of a BBQ and more Magners, coupled with copious amounts of autograph signing, which I'm sure our grandchildren will treasure in years to come.
Personally I think Lambey should be knighted, so we can call him "Serallan".

Thanks for an entertaining evening !

A pair of silver foxes spotted at The Bear