As promised, there's more from Brighton.
Day 2 Thursday 12th July
Eventually driven out of our room by a methane gas surge, courtesy of Simon at 08:00- found no fellow tourists at breakfast, and thankfully George had knocked off, so peace reigned. The day shift were being briefed about the appearance of a traffic cone on the landing near Kaz's room, and Gerald & Anne were checking out, apparently satisfied that the tour was in good shape. I saw Nigel giving his new pads a good talking too in the lobby, and Kaz eventually appeared looking decidedly yellow around the gills. Photographic evidence suggested that he, Bomber, Will & Matt gang raped Johnny at 04:30. Will soon appeared wearing a "Right said Fred" vest and a cheap plastic ear stud, looking every inch a rent boy. Lunch at The Bull in Newick provided the necessary tonic before the game, and we arrived at the ground in good time, if not good shape.
An impressive ground, and we soon realised that they might have the players to match. Batting first, our hosts started to rattle the electronic scoreboard. Johnny got the first wicket of the day again, with a nice edge to Mike in the slips, but looked less pleased to be smashed all round the ground soon after. Crompo tried a spell up the hill, which in fact resembled a red run at Courcheval, and had to give way to Will, who at least bowled well enough to slow the scoring, despite throwing up behind their posh sightscreen earlier. The key moment of the game came when Bomber shelled an easy catch behind the stumps, and the reprieved little shi*te went on to get a ton, before Matt blasted him out with a ferocious, unplayable ball. Simon demonstrated his ability to multi task at mid off, taking a conference call whilst scratching his arse & picking his nose. Kaz ended up wicketless again, and fell out with their umpire, Tim spent the whole afternoon tantalisingly near the bar & deckchairs, Percy played for Newick, Squeak spent many hours at the bottom of the red run, and Mikey fumed at the appalling fielding. We got them out for an acceptable 197, and rushed in for an extended tea, and check on the racing results.
Batting proved tricky, and wickets fell steadily; Will managed partnerships with Crompo, Claridge (career best 10) & Mike, Nige got another Duck, and offered his pads to Tim, in an effort to break the voodoo. Tim scored 3 and Nige got spiteful, outrageously giving him out lbw- the writing was on the wall. The tail failed to wag, and we capitulated. Percy therefore ended up on the 2 winning sides, and Nige had a pair of losses to put with his brace of duck.Nice to have a few beers after in the pavilion bar, whilst planning our evening assault on Brighton & George.
Man of the Match- Will(Is it 'cos I is from Worcestershire) a solid all round game & great sledging
Highlight of the match-An all run 4 from Simon, who needed an oxygen tent to recover.
Cone Head & The Crinklies (what a great name for a band) bade us farewell, and we returned to the crime scene, but with a cunning twist- Chinese instead of Indian. Soggy Prawn Crackers didn't deter us, and a fairly good meal was enjoyed. More beer and a visit to a smelly urinal of a club called Casablanca, were the foreplay to the main event- George Baiting. We warmed up with cable reel bowling along the front, and the trip back passed quickly. The bar was raised, when George tried to evade serving us by unloading a lorry, Johnny suggested he kissed the other night staff, and George went off at the deep end- "an abomination to my culture" he said- almost as offensive as serving short measures is, in our culture ?
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